Different Sides, Same Coin
by Ikasury
Summary: on one side, he's an old hero that lost everything, twice... on the other side, she's a leader from an age gone by finally giving up... both are given another chance to make things 'right' from two very different beings... honestly, how screwed up can this time around go? Wait, they don't know about each other? TimeTravel-ish Shenanigans
1. Prelude: Legend of the Demon

**A/N:** hello peeps to this lovely 'little' experiment... where does this come from? long ago i got sick and tired of the tried-and-true generic 'time travel' fics, always following the same plot of Naruto's future life bites and because of Kyuubi-demon-magicks he goes back in time to fix it... so i came up with a bit of a 'quirk' to that mix, just for giggles, and decided to throw a whole other monkey wrench into the mix... again, for giggles... if you've read any of my other works you'll probably notice i have a rather warped sense of humor...

also, this is a bit of an experiment in how well i can do first person, i much prefer third limited but eh, this was screaming at me to start this way -shrugs-

**Dis:** Kishi is a rich mofo who's got all this shenanigans... i'm just adding more shenanigans...

ENJOY!

* * *

Naruto's Story:

This is the second time I've watched my world die.

The first time I barely had the time to live, really, what the hell is living 16-17years worth if I'm just gonna get sucked up into some giant bijuu machine and die? Well, not quite that way I suppose, its kinda hard to remember fully. I remember dealing with the old Madara, fighting alongside the old resurrected Hokage, it was like something straight out of one of my childhood dreams. There I was, leading an army of the world's entire forces of shinobi at my back with the Shodai on one side and my father, the Fourth Hokage, on the other, with the Nidaime and old man nearby too. All my friends were watching, cheering, fighting… everything was going so-so right… but what the hell happened? I got beat, Madara using his own tricked out eyes screwed everything up… killed most of my friends… killed Hinata… I was only 16, about 17, and the only girl that'd ever sincerely told me she loved me had just died right in front of me. It felt like a spear went straight through my gut when I felt her connection severed from my Kyuubi cloak… just what the hell, WHAT THE HELL?! I'd lived this long just to lose everything when it fucking mattered?

Fuck that!

After squeezing the un-life out of that bastard and watching his stolen Rinnegan bleed out as his mighty tree of death burned to the ground I cried. Not like when Ero-Sannin died, or Kakashi-sensei, or Baa-chan… no, somehow that girl had made more of an in pact in my life then I even realized. So at the end of my enemy, I sat down and cried, wrapped up in a ball of misery as I watched my mind play games with me, showing every time I was down and how she just happened to be there to help pick me up, how small gestures and kind words had done more to make me into the mighty shinobi I became then all that other bullshit I tried. I'd completely forgotten about Sasuke at that point, he'd helped in the war, but once it was over, it seemed he'd chosen to just finish our little feud. I didn't even fight him, I was too wrapped up in my visions of the past to care about the Kusanagi replica shoved in my throat. I almost died bleeding out on the top petals of that death tree…

Luckily I had Kurama, and he'd given some damn about me, and taking in my misery and consent he'd used whatever demon arts to send me back. This time I had him at his full ability, his 'light side' sacrificing itself to send me back so his 'dark side' that my dad gave me during the fight joined me and melded back with my old self's light half. It's all really weird, I was both my old self and new self, with both the yin and yang of the Kyuubi, all one big scary bijuu. I was a goddamn powerhouse at age five, it was pretty sweet.

Well, probably not _so_ sweet, as I had the full Kyuubi, I had more problems, and he was more of a dick, or she… it's hard to tell with demons, they like to flip-flop genders like a coin, depending on mood, or maybe it was just the fact I had both sides so now the Kyuubi was actually 'complete', sort of… but still, a total dick… I ended up killing Haku on the bridge because of my overload of power, ripped off one of Sasuke's arms during the retrieval and, well… let's just say that masked dude that was supposed to resurrect the 'real' Madara never got the chance. So, pretty sweet, good and bad mixed into one this time around, I got to stop Madara's plan from the get-go, Sasuke didn't get a chance to 'leave' the village this time due to the missing arm… and I actually paid attention to Hinata, even started dating her before the culmination of all this crazy. Life was good…

But like I said, living to 16-17 is bullshit, as you have no idea what's what at that age, hell your brain isn't even fully developed if I'm to believe what Sakura told me once. By twenty I was the new Rokudaime Hokage, Baa-chan having sacrificed herself during one of those fucked up missions in the war that broke out between us and Kumo, which sucked because I liked that Killer-Bee dude when he was training me, and my meddling had saved that Nii Yugito chick, but no, fuck that, cause I blew up one too many bases near their boarders they kinda went nuts and saw it as Konoha expanding and threatening them. Fuck politics man, fuck politics. Throughout my second life I managed to get Kyuubi, this time 'Yoko', as _she_ preferred to be called, like I said demons are weird, came on my side, even supping up Hinata and the two of us were like a duo of Bijuu on the battlefield. We ended up winning that war after I beat the old man Raikage in an arm-wrestling contest, it was _NOT_ easy mind you, that guy is ripped, but during our time away stopping a war Danzo, still being a-fucking-live in this timeline let out Sasuke, whom he'd been secretly training instead of having him buried in the darkest pit ANBU had to offer. Quite a few good people lost their lives, Anko who'd become the head of T&I and got married to Iruka-sensei, seriously that was about as freaky as Kyuubi deciding to be 'female' this go around, and had twins with him was one of the people who'd tried holding back the newly Ne trained and mecha-armed-out Sasuke. I specifically held a ceremony for her, not just for Iruka-sensei and his girls, but because even though she knew she couldn't beat the bastard she'd died trying to save her home and family. The woman and 13 other ANBU at her side earned all the respect I had that day.

Sakura was also a casualty, but for a slightly _less_ honorable reason… I let her body remain buried under the rubble of Ne headquarters when I ripped the place out of the ground.

Danzo escaped… so did Sasuke by the time Hinata and I got back. The younger part of me wanted to bring him back… the older part of me, the one that remembered him stabbing me through the neck after we'd just saved the world, did not. I sent teams to track him but they were nowhere to be found. Danzo's body turned up pretty quickly, or what was left of it and thirty some odd Ne operatives. It didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

It was quite a number of years later, after Hinata and I got married, with _extreme_ opposition by her old man, let me tell you Hyuuga Hiashi is _not_ a guy to piss off… also it may have had something to do with the other Kage, Raikage included, being at my wedding, but, uh, details… so we'd got married and had a few kids, both of us training our own teams and Konoha and the other villages basically living more on the barrowed time no one would ever learn about. Hinata knew, of course, I couldn't keep anything hidden from her, and it was just another one of those reasons she loved me, I gave so much for the entire world she said, and looking at her and the kids I would always wonder how far I would go for that now? I mean, I wasn't that stupid 16-17 age I'd been when the world ended, I wasn't 20 when I became Hokage and reality started to sink in, I was in my thirties with her, my own family and village to worry about, nothing was 'new' anymore and when I really thought about it, they, her and our kids, would always be more to me than anything else _this_ world had to offer.

And it wasn't long after I finally understood the full implications of those thoughts and Sasuke's words from long ago.

I didn't know… I really, truly, didn't know a damn thing about how it felt to lose everything important…

Sasuke had come back, only this time he'd taken over Madara's original plans somehow, raising his Zetsu army, having the perfect Mangekyou that he could switch to a Rinnegan and back with ease, even a fully formed Susano'o. He had everything his traitorous clan had to offer… the cheeky prick. His army swept through the elemental nations like a plague, destroying Nami, Kiri, Kusa, Ame, and working his way into Hi no Kuni to destroy Konoha. The man was insane and obsessed, and honestly I don't even know if it was 'really' Sasuke.

The first thing he did entering Konoha was to kill my wife and kids… then my students and hers… than anyone else he could get his hands on that meant anything to me, including Iruka and his girls… I don't want to think about what he did to those girls, Kami bless Anko's soul if she ever forgives me for what I let happen to them… Iruka too…

Why was I so powerless? Why was I so weak? Why could that bastard cut me off from Yoko? Why did I allow myself to become so complacent and stagnant… why did I let myself have a happy life?

The moment all the atrocities he was committing, the boy I had considered something like a brother once was doing to the people of my village, had **_done_** to those I loved… the moment I could get a hold of Yoko I let her go… I just let everything go…

Hate, anger, rage, pure unadultered wrath and rancor poured out of me, so much that even the mighty Kyuubi could not contain… I took her power, all of it, the yin and yang and combined it with my own power and I just lost all sense of control…

I burned the world to ash… and I don't even remember it…

My hand still shakes from the rampage, the feelings I get from what I'd done… and I don't think any part of me isn't glad for it. Kyuubi, Yoko or Kurama or whatever they want to call themselves brought me back from the brink of insanity… one hundred years after I'd lost all sense of time. I spent an entire century as a demon of destruction just killing and burning the world… I'd become everything everyone had ever feared from me… and I didn't care.

The world was charred black and covered in a permanently raining ash… nothing was alive, I know so as I attempted sage mode and felt nothing… absolutely nothing…

I'd truly lost everything, and not just because of 'one man' but because I myself had let it happen…

So much for 16-17years of ignorant bliss…

I take it back…

I take it all back…

* * *

Hinata's Story:

What should have been the end of my world was really only the prelude…

I remember being 13 and getting news that the great Toad Sannin master Jiraiya had been captured by some foreign nation. I didn't particularly care about the old Sannin one way or the other at the time, the only thing I knew about him was he had taken Naruto-kun off to train. So if the Sannin was captured, more than likely Naruto was too… I surprised everyone in my class by immediately going up to the Godaime Hokage and demanding to be on a team that helped search for them, if not actually help in their retrieval. She gave me one look and immediately denied my request; I was just a genin and had no idea what I was talking about.

So I tried training harder, tried getting chuunin faster, tried proving myself capable of more than just being a waste of space so I could go out there and look for Naruto-kun.

That bitch Sakura made chuunin before me, same with Kiba-kun and Neji-nii-san. They were sent to join the search, I was still stuck trying to get my vest. By the time I achieved that they'd managed to find Master Jiraiya, dead, tortured, but no sign of Naruto-kun. There was absolutely no sign of him, not in the bases they'd checked, no word from the country, absolutely nothing. I tried harder.

I eventually found my way into ANBU, a special division called Ne, I'd never heard of it and didn't care about its sketchy practices, I would do anything to find Naruto-kun, anything at all. I often felt like I was the only person that cared what happened to him, the only one that remembered his bright smiles and promising eyes, the only one that remembered he did his best for this village that never liked him, even as a kid. I remember people calling him the Kyuubi brat, and while I'm not a Nara, I'm not an idiot either, he was born the night the Kyuubi attacked, he looks strikingly like the Fourth, and always has this abundant energy… if he wasn't the Kyuubi reborn he had it sealed in him, joining Ne I found it was the later and even still it didn't change my opinion of him, he protected us all, since the day he was born he was a hero.

My father disapproved of my choices for some reason, but as a konoichi he had no real say in what I did, once I figured that out, had the confidence to use that to further my goals of finding Naruto-kun, I didn't let anything he or the clan said stop me. I didn't even let Danzo-sama stop me once he started going on his shpell about how 'weak' Konoha's become for losing its Jinchuuriki, I would get him back you fucking gimp, just you wait.

When I was 15 I was the equivalent of a jounin, but ANBU, especially Ne didn't care for actual rankings, just that you were strong enough for the job. I got a job stating only I was to retrieve a sample from an island near Kiri… I had no idea what I was doing and now I can't believe how stupidly naive and driven I was…

I'd managed to surpass my cousin in two years but I'd not gotten any smarter…

On that island was a lab, I don't know what exactly it was for or what exactly they were doing there, not even exactly WHO owned it, but the moment I noticed who the sample was… I lost it… I used my training and took out anyone that wasn't Naruto-kun in that place, I just didn't care, he was alive, I'd found him, that was all that mattered. By killing them I'd inadvertently released him… I released the single greatest natural disaster our world had ever seen because I was too young to truly think…

15 is an age for hopeless romances, for dreams, for thoughts of love but having no real idea what any of that actually means…

I wanted to find him and free him, so I did, not caring about my orders and I'd slaughtered everyone there not caring who they were… come to find out it had been a secret base for Konoha. They'd found him years ago, my cousin, my teammate and that bitch, and not one of them told anyone. He'd been found where Master Jiraiya had been found tortured and dead, only he wasn't the Naruto everyone knew. His mind had been wiped, and samples of all the other Bijuu had been forcibly placed in him, altering his mind and forcing his body through changes he could not comprehend. So instead of bringing him back, they'd kept him in stasis as his body adjusted to the process forced upon him in the hopes he'd come back to who he was one day…

And I just came in here and fucked that all up…

Why? Because I was blind, because I was young, naive, a plain stupid easily manipulated idiot…

They had been keeping this from Danzo, and I'd given him the one thing he needed to not only find it but to blow it all open… why was I such an idiot… why was I such a failure…

Naruto's pale white skin and blank blue eyes stared at me for all of a moment before he screamed in an unholy fury and all the power of the Bijuu exploded forth turning him into some kind of demon I can't fully describe. I'd let him out, I'd caused him the greatest pain, and now he was out wreaking havoc on the world because he knew nothing beyond instinct and pain…

I can't explain how I got out, because honestly I don't remember, just that one moment I was staring at him as he transformed and the next I was waking up on a beach on the mainland as typhoons raged in the distance. I could _see_ Kiri burning from the shoreline… and I'd caused all this…

It was five years into the demon's reign that I'd finally figured out a way to atone for my greatest sin. Using a combination of seals, chakra, and old Hyuuga writings about demons I'd devised a way to end it, all the pain and suffering I'd let loose on the world… I was going to end it…

I was finally going to save you Naruto-kun…

With a small team of what was left of the shinobi we had one final showdown with the demon that was once the boy I'd admired most of my life… the villages had been the first things destroyed, then the major cities, now all that stood were whatever small towns people hobbled together in remote places outside the demon's rampage. I'd formed a village between what was left of Snow and Iron, even had Sasuke on my side as my second in command, he having given up his revenge once Konoha was demolished and I let him take Danzo's head, as much as I'd wanted to… but he was with us… even Orochimaru had crawled out of some hidden experiment of his and joined us, helping me with my research with his vast knowledge of forbidden techniques… and there were others… so many others, people who were feared, hated, disgusted as the worst shinobi had to produce, yet they were the ones standing… in the face of an oblivion a young blind girl released on the world, these were the survivors and honestly I had no problem leading them in the hell I'd created…

I just wish I could have died with him…

Orochimaru-sensei had died I don't know how many times during that fight, even sacrificing a piece of him to save his old student Anko, like I said, survivors, and Sasuke, not that either would thank him. Sasuke's Susano'o was integral in bringing down the Bijuu with its great power and black flames cover its body able to hold him. The Raikage, who called himself Jin when we met long after Rai no Kuni being razed and he refused to be referred to as a 'Kage' anymore, feeling he'd lost the title when he lost the village and his brother, was the only human that could punch the demon in the face and do anything. I know Tsunade would have wanted to be here, same with my father, but they were both too old or injured to help, and barely anyone else from my generation or the one before were alive or able to fight. I stood alongside Nuke-nin and once enemies fighting to take down my one regret, my once love, the person that inspired me to be strong and now drove me on with nothing but the shame for what I'd done, choosing him over the world…

Now I had to correct that, I had to fix what I'd broken in my naïve foolishness…

While Sasuke and Jin held the demon down I preformed the seals, gathered my chakra, and once given the cue they let go, allowing the ten tailed demon to charge right at me as I charged at him. With one seal I dissipated his external aura, the body, with another I ripped away the internal aura, the chakra, all that was left was the bare host body; a man my age with pale white skin and bottomless blue eyes looked at me as I embraced him… saying the one thing I'd been dying to since I started this insanity…

"I love you Naruto-kun… I'm sorry…"

And with the last seal I stuck my fingers into his brain and exploded it from the inside, preventing any form of healing, destroying all chakra pathways or seals and erasing the man I still can't believe I love…

I don't know how long I stood there; staring emptily at the headless naked body of the man I loved… his blood all over my hands and face… and just felt nothing…

Sasuke was the first to place his hand on my shoulder but I didn't feel it, Jin said nothing, while Anko was dragging what was left of Orochimaru and asking if it was finally over…

I told them it was… the demon was dead, all the Bijuu were probably gone with it… the nightmare was over, it was now time for them to start rebuilding… they all agreed and left, not saying a word, knowing there was really nothing left to be said… I'll always be grateful for them for that…

My life should have ended there, but it didn't… I went on to become the first Kenkage, steel shadow, as the remains of Iron and snow formed the new Steel country, where what we thought remained of the shinobi of the elemental nations had gathered. There were barely twenty thousand of us left, of populations of millions that was all that was left of our world after five years of that demon and they wanted me, the person that started it all to lead them.

I feel like I had no choice in the matter, all anyone cared about was that I was the one that killed it… not how I felt about it or that I'd been the one to start it…

So I played along, having Orochimaru the Immortal as my primary advisor and confidant, the man might have been crazy but he was smart and oddly decent once you got past all the creepiness… and he never made a pass at me. He looked at me and Anko like his daughters and protected us fiercely, Sasuke was his prodigal son who came and went as he pleased, and Jin… he went back home to bury what was left of his country. He came back for awhile, and I asked him about the people he'd lost and the name, he said it was all in the past, 'A' had died with them. Many of us felt like that, that who we were before the demon was long dead, with the rest of our world, who we were now had nothing to do with them… maybe that was why I could deal with people like these as the closest I let near me now…

Anko gave birth to twins within the next year, having been pregnant while we'd fought the demon and either not known or didn't bother to care. I never got who the father was and while Orochimaru looks livid someone had gotten past him, he watched those boys like they were his own.

Tsunade passed not long after Naruto-kun, probably finally just letting go…

I don't know what Sasuke did half the time, he'd wonder away for months on end, come back all scuffed up, not say a word and just sit and join us for dinner. If there was a personification for 'lost' he was truly it…

There were other people, those I had to preside over, those that wanted to stir up old wounds, things that we honestly didn't need now, that _I_ didn't need now. It wasn't long into the second year after the demon I'd tried my first attempt at suicide… just twirling a kunai round and round feeling nothing before slitting my wrists without care…

I don't know how long I'd sat in the Kenkage chair just staring out the window as I bled out before I noticed something to my left. When I looked I thought I was hallucinating as it looked like some specter wrapped in a torn black-grey cloak and staring at me from behind an odd mask with glowing eyes. It just sat there, in the air staring at me, as if waiting…

This was one of those odd times Sasuke decided to come back, and he did so by busting down my door, staring at me with his Magekyou and shouting for Orochimaru…

The world is awfully surreal when Orochimaru is our top medic…

I must have blacked out as the next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed and that 'thing' was floating over me, just staring again. It introduced itself as an aspect of death, not quite a Shinigami as that was a god that lead one to 'death', but as a component of death itself. I just said hi.

I didn't always see this thing called 'death', I preferred to just call it Kuro for the torn black cloak it wore, but Kuro would pretty much show up every time I came close to death, either by my own hand or that of some external force. I knew to look out for things when Kuro showed up, and partially I started to wonder if I'd gone slightly insane and this was just a portion of my guilty consciousness either talking me into death or out of it… I wasn't really sure, Kuro didn't seem to feel one way or another…

I knew I wasn't crazy when Orochimaru offered it tea once… then I got an entire lecture about his experiences with death as the closest to immortal as any shinobi would probably ever get. Kuro call him a white snake and while speaking rather cordial with Orochimaru spoke of how much the Shinigami hated him with absolute delight… it was an even more surreal moment for me…

I must have been almost thirty when I finally got tired of being alone, Kuro didn't really count and as far as beyond me and Orochimaru it didn't really exist. I allowed myself to have others, I never really found love, but I had a consort of sorts, not really 'official' marriage, and the second he tried to kidnap my children Jin showed just how paternal he was and smashed the man's head between two fingers. I suppose I should find it even more ironic that the man responsible for my own attempted kidnapping years ago just saved my own children from their sire… this world I live in is far too strange sometimes I feel…

Kuro enjoyed watching him die though… and honestly, I couldn't agree more, I did as well…

I loved my children… I really did…

But they weren't his, and I never truly got to love him… and part of me never let that go…

War broke out of course; it was only a matter of time before another village started up and attacked us… I lost one of my children and I don't ever remember crying so hard. Jin went out taking down most of the army in his rage, he wasn't as young or strong as he once was, but I will never forget watching the former Raikage taking down wave after wave of those shinobi, being the juggernaut like his father, and all the Raikage before all for the sake of one of my own children… he truly was a magnificent ninja and I'm thankful for knowing him.

It seemed after that first war they never stopped. One would end, another would start, I would take out one village, two more took its place… I destroyed the man I loved to save the world, yet here was the world destroying itself for no reason… I was quickly forgetting what I was fighting for…

It got down to the point where it was only Orochimaru and myself left, and he ended up being in charge of this new village. I laughed, so did he, we both did at 'old habits'. I didn't bother fighting him, he was the Immortal Shinobi, the one that would forever exist, I was just the woman that slayed the demon of destruction and I was old and nothing like I was in my youth. I simply asked he looked after my last daughter, which he agreed as he slit my throat.

I remember seeing Kuro standing above me, just staring as it always seemed to…

Then it removed the mask and I finally got to see its face and those glowing eyes… he looked like Naruto.

I couldn't help but smile, laugh even at death's tricks…

He told me this was my greatest regret… and if I wanted, I could go back and try again… after all Kuro had seen, he thought I deserved it…

I just laughed, I was an old woman, what could I do now? The Kenkage was dead… my world gone away to war… Naruto-kun's and my sacrifice was all for nothing…

That's when he offered me his hand, the first time I'd seen anything apart from that torn black cloak and I didn't bother to say 'no' this time… I held his hand, and just let everything go…

* * *

**A/N:** ...

letsee, covering time-travel shenanigans, check, covering NaruHina (finally) check, first person wangst, check, more shenanigans then you can shake a stick at, check check... okay, sounds about a good place to start something :3

comments, questions, opposing views? (reviews :3)

till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	2. Kidnapping, what Kidnapping?

**A/N:** figured i'd get more into the 'time-travel' shenanigans... bloop you both badasses of different eras have just been dropped into the same dimension... for whatever reason, also, at different times... have fun~

ENJOY!

* * *

Hinata's Story:

There's something extremely, aggravatingly, annoying about dying… or time travel… or whatever the hell Kuro did when I took his hand…

One second I'm an old woman that's just been betrayed by my oldest most loyal confidant… yes, this sounds weird as it was Orochimaru, but when I really think about it he'd been my closest most loyal friend-father figure for the better part of a hundred years. Yes, I lived to be almost a hundred and sixty three, Hyuuga, due to our affinity for pure chakra tend to live longer lives then most shinobi if we're not actually _killed_ in battle. You know that old guy that orders my father around? Yea, that's not my 'grandfather' that's my GREAT-grandfather… my actual grandfather died in battle because he was an honorable man… unlike that jerk…

Something I feel I may have to 'fix' this time around I suppose…

But as I was saying, I don't feel particularly 'betrayed' by Orochimaru, as strange as this entire line of thinking is, he was like my father and he watched me age into a crippled, bitter old woman. I don't blame him at all taking one of his 'grandsons', raising a village, and deciding to overthrow me, when you got as old as I was that kind of stuff became second nature. I hate to say it but I honestly think I could understand Danzo if I really tried… but he was just too young and ambitious and quite the idiot… my 'old' self can totally say that as I ran the largest country for over a century, beating the records of all other Kage in history. They can bite me in the afterlife. Only an immortal could kill the Steel Shadow and I take no insult in that.

I wonder if Orochimaru's still in the village…

What time is it?

In fact… why am I moving, I'm not walking? Kuro where the hell did you drop me!

Okay, Hinata focus, you're nearly a hundred and sixty-three, use your Kami-damned ninja training… you took down a demon… using your damn senses should be nothing.

Alright, breathe in… breathe out… _Byakuugan!_

….

… WHAT THE FUCK?!

Why in the nine layers of hell can't I use my bloodline eyes!

… okay… okay… breathe… breathe… by all that is unholy and Orochimaru this is annoying… okay… back to basics… I guess…

Its dark, I can't see, I feel really, really, really tiny… oh hey I can actually feel my toes without every joint being sore, suppose that's a bonus despite the whole 'no Byakuugan' thing… okay, getting the hang of this, sort of… why am I moving? Am I supposed to be unconscious? Kuro did you send me some time when I was knocked out? That's slightly creepy… Kuro?

Kuro?

… Kami-be-damned! The freakin' aspect of 'Death' that sent me here isn't even here for me to argue with… son of a bitch…

"Girl stop squirming!" a rough voice growled above me.

Excuse me?! I'm the goddamn Kenkage, no one speaks to me that way… and I haven't been a 'girl' for the better part of two centuries… I did the first thing that came to mind… or really a reflex from my old age…

I bitchslapped this cretin with the power of Jyuuken, not too young for that bitch!

My power may have waned significantly… or reverted back as I'm assuming that's what this whole time-travel thing is supposed to do, you're not very good at explaining things Kuro! And my reach may be atrocious, but this wannabe kidnapper or whatever is an idiot! Honestly, you didn't even bind me! You just have me hanging over one arm, arms and legs out, I can reach your heart you moron! I mean honestly, if you're going to kidnap someone from a clan that uses chakra directly, and we distinctly shut down organs with a tap, you'd think binding said person's ability from _touching_ anything remotely vital would be a point to be paying attention to…

Not that I had long to scrutinize this idiot as by Jyuuken-bitchslapping him I've sent us both tumbling over… sure I can reach his heart, and would have been the 'better' target… buuut the whole point of a bitchslap is to hit the face… and I distinctly screamed out, "SHUT UP!" in the process, so numbing the entirety of his face and probably paralyzing the portion of his spine that connects to the medulla oblongata is _maybe_ effective in just giving the guy spinal paralysis… oh right, falling…

"EEEEEEEHHH!" waving hands and giving a girlish scream are not conductive of actually _catching_ myself. Kami, what is wrong with this body? No reflexes at all… when the hell did you send me back Kuro?!

I landed on the ground with a loud _thud!_ My captor was twitching every so often and honestly annoying the crap out of me. His arm was heavy, surprisingly so, seriously was this guy nothing but pure muscle caked onto more muscle? Why does that seem familiar to me? I gave up trying to 'lift' his meaty arm and just rolled out from under it… seriously, what the hell… I stood up and looked down on the squirming man.

Oddly, my mouth felt like working again, "Damn, I'm short…"

Really, I am. Kami I don't ever remember being this short… was I seriously this short once? I mean, I know I got shorter as I got older, age tends to do that when your joints and ligaments all like to scrunch up, but eh… no, I don't remember being _this_ short… or with this squeaky of a voice… I rubbed my throat while looking down at the guy squirming… man I'm tired… a Jyuuken strike like that shouldn't have taken this much out of me… even in my old age I continued to grow my reserves so this is rather pitiful… there was a reason I remained the Kenkage for over a century.

Oh damn, he's foaming at the mouth… I should probably call a medic or he'll die… hrm…

"HINATA!" something yelled from behind me… wait, what? Is that my father?

Well, fuck, guess this moron was saved by the proverbial bell… I went to go kick him for good measure but for some reason this body just froze up at the sound of that man's voice. Damnit, I forgot how 'conditioned' I was to being afraid of him… nothing a couple hours training shouldn't fix I suppose…

My father came rampaging up towards me… okay, I'm tiny and barely come up to his knee… he's really scary with that Byakuugan flaring… when he finally stops in front of me, panting deeply and turning his head from the almost-corpse of my captor to my own wide white eyes, seriously I'm just staring at this man, he's been dead to me for decades and I honestly don't ever remember him looking this fierce or young…

Something in the body must have finally woke up as I can feel tears welling up in my eyes and my body shaking as I say rather pitifully, "O-Otou-s-sama…" and reach out for the man.

His Byakuugan recedes and for probably the first time in my memory he looks… relieved… or something like it, "Hinata," and he scoops me up in those long wraps of his robes and just hugs me.

My father hugs me… my father _is_ hugging me… I'm nearly a hundred and sixty-three years old transported back to some point I can barely remember and honestly… I can't remember a single point my father actually hugged me.

Now I know the tears are mine, know it's not just a reaction from this far-too-young body as I wrap my tired, tiny, scared arms around the man's strong neck and just mumble incoherently…

"Thank you Kuro… Thank you…"

I gripped tightly to the strange yet familiar man's collar with all the effort my little hands had. I don't know how long I held on to him.

People came and went, harsh words were had, chakra spiked, and I swear the old Hokage even showed up with a troop of ANBU. If I weren't completely wiped; mentally, physically and emotionally I would have probably started yelling at him for his incompetence as a leader… honestly, I'm a clan Heiress and some random person just nearly kidnapped me? Where were the ANBU on duty? Where were the guards? Where were ANYBODY that wasn't my own father?! This kind of bullshit did not fly in Ken, Jin and I made sure of that…

But I was too drained… too enamored with holding my father… we'd never had an easy relationship, and if this is what I think it was, and glancing down at the man ANBU were dragging off to a hospital… that was a Kumo Hitea-ate… I don't know… I'm conflicted at this point. Jin was a great man that helped me take down the demon, died less than twenty years later for the sake of one of my children… this man was sent by the 'Raikage' to take me to them, by 'A'… by Jin…

I just went to sleep… crying over the past, crying over the future… my father had no idea thinking I was just stressed from the concept of being kidnapped. I don't really remember how this all went in my previous life, it was nearly a hundred and sixty years ago, that's a long time to care about such memories, I just know it was pretty much the start of my father's descending disappointment in me and my cousin's misguided hatred.

But my father only held me, tucked me into bed and I swear he mumbled how proud of me he was…

Sigh… without even trying I feel like I've already screwed something up…

* * *

Naruto's Story:

Alright! Third time's the charm! That's what they say right? Right? I mean that is a saying isn't it?

Okay, first things first… when the hell am I? Kurama/Yoko told me last time these cosmic reset type dealies only work on important emotional/traumatic events… the last time it was the first time I was kicked out of the orphanage… I _may_ of handled that badly by proceeding to level the place but I blame that on the complete nausea from the 'trip' and having no idea what the fuck just happened, I _was_ kinda just stabbed in the throat by my best friend previously not to mention the whole losing everyone I cared about… _buuut_ it may have also been from the whole I was a five year old with suddenly a doubled up Bijuu and, well, she was kinda a bitch… details…

Anywho… when am I? I get the feeling it won't be that 'event' as I already did that, maybe the quasi-person-demon that Kurama/Yoko is sent me somewhere a bit further ahead? I feel slightly taller from the last reset and they're kinda quiet…

Wait… wait… wait… I think I may know what this is… least from my past two experiences I think I may know what it is… looking down, yep I'm wearing that scraggily white shirt and those orange shorts… and those woods nearby…

I rub my hands together, in my first lifetime this had just been another random event that occurred, just another moment of me trying to do the 'right thing' to get someone to notice me as a hero. Last time I remembered it clear as a bell thanks to how I died, thinking about her, so I knew exactly what it was, every detail and I kicked those bullies asses and saved her, showing how cool I was, asking if she was okay and while not getting so much as a thank you from her I knew that look now, I knew that even though she didn't say it she was grateful… it became an important moment to me as it became the first time I truly met Hyuuga Hinata…

Seems that old Kitsune's really got it in to have me hooking up with her again… I mean I would anyway, but because this became such an event for me… well… uh… thanks furball… ehehehe…

All I hear is a snore as a response… guess the Kyuubi didn't mesh this time or just doesn't care… oh well, off to save my princess!

I creep closer to the woods where those bullies must have taken her… any minute now and I'll hear her cry out for help, then I'll jump in with that old Uzumaki charm and save the day… oh great Kami I still think like this? Fuck, must be being a kid again… yea, I'll blame it on that…

… c'mon…

… any second now…

… okay, I can definitely sense them…

… uh, Hinata?

"Oh, what the hell!" my scratchy prepubescent voice cries out as I stomp into the forest…

Well… well, that was certainly not what I expected to see…

Those three bullies are down, sure, but… what the fuck? Sasuke? I have to blink a good number of times to register what the hell just happed… or figure out what just happened… Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke with his little emo-starting-duck-butt hair is on the ground crying… and HINATA is the one in a perfect Jyuuken form scowling at the downed bullies crying out in pain… are, are her eyes active?

"I told you three before to leave him alone!" she called out fiercely… what the hell? Hyuuga Hinata and fierce do _NOT_ go in the same sentence… at least not for a few years after she grows up, gets confidence and becomes a total badass babe… but still… what the fuck? Sasuke?!

I'm stuck behind a tree just staring with my mouth wide open… that's… that's my Hinata… but… not? I mean, sure, like I said, give her a few years… but she's supposed to be shy as all hell at this age… and since when does she do anything with SASUKE!

Speaking of the runt, he's rubbing his nose and standing on his feet, okay he's got the Uchiha scowl going but why does it look so damn 'cute'… I can just hear the fangirls going wild… where are the fangirls? "Hina-chan…"

What?

"Let them go…" he rubs his bloody nose on his sleeve, "They're not worth fighting…" wait, what? "Onii-chan would be mad if we got caught fighting those weaker than us again…"

…

WHAT?!

"Tch…" did she just spit on the ground? Oh my god, Hinata just spit on the ground… why is a part of me squealing about that? The Hyuuga heiress just kept glaring at those peons as the shuffled around on the ground, "Just because someone doesn't attack you doesn't mean they're weaker then you," oh god she just kicked one of them in the stomach… "It just means they're smart enough to not bother with weaklings like you…" and another kick… dear sweet kami… I hide behind the tree more as I'm afraid she'll see me… I mean she's got her eyes active, she should see me anyway… right? Oh fuckit… I glance back and she's walking off with Sasuke…

Ugh… something in me just boils at that… screw that Hinata just kicked a bunch of kids asses at this age, but there's no way I can stomach her walking off with Sasuke like that… fuck that, hell no, I draw the line there!

"Hyuuga Hinata!" why the fuck did I just jump out from behind the tree like Konohamaru?! Why am I pointing and shouting at her? Why does this seem strangely familiar! "I c-challenge y-you!" WHY AM I STUTTERING!

She turns on me, her eyes are no longer active, so that's nice, I like those pale lavender eyes when they aren't so fierce and active… plus she could get pretty scary with those things, flashbacks of pregnancies past make me shutter… I have to shake my head as now is _not_ the time or place to be thinking about my future wife… er… maybe? Why is she just looking at me like that? So critically… so… I don't even know, that is _not_ the loving adoration I'm used to seeing from my Hinata…

Yoko what cruel world did you drop me into you evil bitch!

"Oi, Teme!" oh god Sasuke's voice is so squeally it's really annoying… I glance over to him, he's got a bloody nose he keeps sniffing up with his hands in tight fists and just glaring at me with those black eyes… this is supposed to be _my_ brother right? Well… to be honest I never really paid much attention to Sasuke before that whole deal with his family… I mean it hasn't happened yet, and I had no idea what all that stuff's problems was the first time around, and last time I caught Itachi and he explained everything, how depressed he was about not being able to be killed by his brother and all that… damn, I should probably try and do something about that this time, I mean seriously, I owe it to the guy, he was a real hero to Konoha for putting up with all the bullshit he was put through… oh, right, mini-Sasuke… uh… "How many times do we have to say it, Hina-chan isn't going to fight you!"

"Well why the hell not?!" seriously, why the hell not? She just beat up three brats for _his_ sake, why not kick my ass for _my_ sake? Damn that sounds weirdly masochistic… why am I wanting to fight with her all of a sudden? Since when are Hinata and I enemies? Rivals? What the fuck?

Something about her eyes shifted strangely, I know that look… that's not the look of a little kid, that's the look of an analyzing jounin. Then she stepped forward, nudging Sasuke to the side with no real resistance from the boy but he still had that looking-down-on-me look in his eyes… I really want to punch him… well, sorta… more his 'future' psycho-self, after what he did to Hinata and our kids… to Iruka and Anko's girls… I can't help the growl and anger that starts to spread in me, I can already feel the heat of the Kyuubi's chakra coursing through me…

I didn't even see it…

One instant Hinata was on standing next to Sasuke, the next something like a cannon hit me in the chest and I was on the ground, feeling numb all over and suddenly drained… where'd you go Yoko?

Dizzily I open my eyes and see her standing over me, looking at me critically again, a distinct crease in her brows, "Don't start that, Uzumaki," why does that formality hurt so much, "I already said I was the one that will become Hokage, so stop trying so hard…" and she turned away with this flat look I'd only ever seen on other Hyuuga…

Where was my Hinata?

I coughed, placing a hand on my chest as that hurt like hell… "Like…" breathe damnit, "L-like h-hell…" I pulled myself to my feet, grinning. I don't want to be Hokage, not this go around, I did that shpell… I did the whole being 'the leader' thing last time… didn't get me anywhere; just lost even more people… she can have it… I stared straight at her, hard and true as when I stared down the Raikage before beating him in that arm wrestling match, "Y-you can have the hat-ttebayou!" there was an odd look in her eyes, one I can't quite place… "Cause I got a better goal in mind, hehe!" and I gave her the biggest, widest grin I could offer…

I came back here for you Hinata… come hell or the end of the world I'm gonna get **_you_** back!

The look on her face was priceless… why, I even think there's a bit of that old pink in those cute round cheeks… hehe, oh yea, Yoko you bitch… whatever you did to tamper with this world, I'll beat it! Cause I'm Uzumaki-fucking-Naruto!

I turned a bit of a sinister grin to the Uchiha next to her and said the first thing that came to mind, "You better watch yourself you bastard, cause I won't forgive you, you'll be the first on my list to my goal!" it's funny to watch mini-Sasuke squirm… I should probably give him some slack, he's only like six, still got his family and pre-crazy… but he's standing between me and my goal… even if I do want to help his brother, and maybe avoid some of his crazy, standing between me and my future wife is **_not_** somewhere anyone should be!

I strutted up to her, that's right, **_strutted_**, even if I was still holding the sore spot on my chest as I gave her the most sinister fox grin I could muster. She may not have been the 'meek' Hinata from my previous childhoods, but she was still Hinata, **_my_** Hinata… and there was nothing in this world that could get between me and her, death, Sasuke, Madara, whatever Kami-itself… nothing was going to get between me and my goal…

So I did the most off balanced childish thing I could do…

I leaned in and kissed her, right on the lips… that's right, age six and already I kissed my girl! Take that you kitsune bastards!

I could hear Sasuke coughing and sounding extremely disgusted, and I think even the word 'cooties' was used… I'd have to snicker at that later… Sasuke saying 'cooties', snort…

Hinata was stiff, and really I only gave her a peak, I'm just a little boy and she's just a little girl and I just wanted to get this 'new' her off balanced… so I was happily surprised to lean back, grinning like the fox I am, and watch her go absolutely red from head to toe…

Then pass out…

"YES!" I could not help but jump up and do a happy dance! "THAT'S MY HINATA! WOOHOO!"

"Y-you jerk!" mini-Sasuke squealed, wow he's got a high-pitched voice at this age, "T-that doesn't count! You cheated!" he looked so red and angry, I hope he's not jealous, I don't want him liking my Hinata, she's mine! Though beating him in this _would_ be kinda nice… hehehe…

I came down from my happy-dance giggling, grinning so wide to put the Kyuubi to shame as I poked him in the shoulder, "All's fair in love and war! Nanananana!" then blew him a raspberry…

He turned even more red, I think the quote was lost on his childish brain but the gist was obviously understood, "You cheated!" oh god it looked like he was throwing a hissy-fit, ha! "I'm telling Ko about this!"

Ko? "wait, wha-?"

And that was about as far as I got before getting a _real_ Jyuuken strike to the chest, which sent me flying into a tree a good couple of feet away.

"Don't. **_ever_**. Touch lady Hinata again!"

I managed to keep my eyes open long enough to catch a glimpse of one really big, really pissed off, really having his Byakuugan flaring Hyuuga with short cropped hair. Holy hell, who was this guy? That's not Hiashi?! Okay, looks kinda like him with short hair, but then most Hyuuga look alike except Hinata for some reason but… er… wha?

Sasuke seemed to just give this little snort, his to become patented Uchiha scowl crossing his face as he promised me all sorts of pain with that look for doing something to Hinata while this Ko guy picked her up and started to leave with the little Uchiha at his heels…

Well, that was weird…

If it weren't for the encroaching darkness from this possible concussion I'd probably think more on this odd turn of events… as it is… eh, darkness is nice…

Hehe, I got to kiss Hinata, I got to kiss Hinata…

* * *

**A/N:** I've got to say writing as 'old Hinata' is funny as hell, because she's OLD, grown so damn much she's completely unrecognizable from her 'young' self... while Naruto is and always will be 'Naruto' no matter his age... -snickers-

obviously, since 'old' Hinata got dropped her first, she's already started some shenaningans... now what will these shenanigans be? well i'll just have to get to those through her view point now won't i, muahahahaha... welcome to a strange new world Naruto~

thanks for the reviews, nice to get such a decent response to something so random...

Comments, questions, opposing views? you know you want to review~ :3

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	3. You're My New BFF

**A/N:** hello again, here's another one, and just to respond to some reviews, YES! THIS IS WEIRD! EMBRACE IT! :D

also, added age-ish-thingies to this one as i felt it might help with the crazy...

ENJOY!

* * *

Hinata's Story: Age 3~ish

Okay… Okay… okay… okay… I… I can… I can deal with this…

Just breathe…

Breathe…

…

WHAT IN THE NINE BURNING HELLS JUST HAPPENED?!

NO! SERIOUSLY! KURO! WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!

Where are you, you bastardass cloak wearing supposed aspect of death! Come here so I can rightfully kick your ass!

…_ Byakuugan… _

ARUGAH! GODDAMNIT THAT IS GETTING ANNOYING!

I will find you Kuro! Mark my words I will _FIND YOU_!

….

…

Breathe Hinata and slap yourself in the face…

…

Okay… okay, good, I'm awake… this is real… I can't use my goddamn Byakuugan to test if this is some warped Genjutsu or not! I wouldn't put it past Orochimaru… maybe… but there's really no one else that could put _ME_ in such an illusion, Sasuke died over half a century ago… and as far as we were both concerned didn't have any illegitimate or legitimate heirs… poor guy, would have probably made a great dad after all that bullshit he went through. I know he was good with my kids after Jin died… hrm…

Damnit, I can't be thinking about the 'past'… future… whatever… I'm _in_ the past… sort of… and if all that jazz last night was me getting kidnapped my would-become-Jin-Raikage's man… and my father didn't kill him… hrm… how would this work out politically? I know how I would work it… if my father had attacked/killed him I'd say he was innocent and demand reparations, like the body of the man that killed him… oh Jin, I think I see what you did there, so that _is_ what happened with my uncle, because just how you tried to cheat my family it tried to cheat you… okay… now, I don't think I killed the man, it was _just_ a light tap after all… I mean a bitchslap from a three year old isn't much, even with Jyuuken… hrm… I suppose it depends on whether or not the guy survives… I know how **_I_** would handle this, but Jin was a bit different, more prideful…

Hehehe, oh this is rich, if that jerk doesn't die we can probably send him back with word **_I_** brought him down, which I did, but he'd be too embarrassed to say that, so need a witness to do so… and the Raikage would be too embarrassed by the bastard to demand anything else… he's got too much pride to believe in a man that can't even take down a three year old, Hyuuga or not, oh this is fun… hehehe…

So that's a plan… how do I get my father and the idiot Hokage to follow through… my father would probably get all full of himself for his young daughter taking down an enemy jounin, har har, and the Hokage is the whole damn reason my father/uncle would have been shipped off to begin with, because he was too much of a damn pussy to stand up to the Raikage's goddamn bluff! Asshole…

I really need to do something about this whole 'Hokage' thing, every single one of them has been a goddamn push over… they think they're doing the right thing but all they're doing is letting everyone walk all over them… the slightest infraction becomes a whole territorial dispute and Konoha always concedes… what bullshit! No wonder Danzo went all crazy… his friend/teammate/whatever that is the Hokage, who _used_ to burn down enemy villages has become such a goddamn plush welcome mat to anyone and everyone that wants to take something from our village…

I hate to say but I think Danzo and Orochimaru had it right…

Well damnit… wish I'd noticed this previously; perhaps I could have fixed things long before everything got so screwed up and everyone died…

Before Naruto…

I've got to bite my lip to stop the thought… I really shouldn't be thinking about him… I haven't even met him at this age… it'd be kind of weird for me to suddenly want to go see the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki… Ko would have a heart attack… oh sweet, overprotective Ko… he should still be alive now… hrm… hopefully my meddling with that guy hasn't altered my father's opinion enough to do something stupid… like have me go through all that crazy training Hanabi had to go through as the 'chosen one' for the clan… not that that saved her and the rest of them from the Demon, you damn bastards…

Ugh, I shouldn't be so spiteful towards my sister, she's not even born yet, and none of them really lived that long… Orochimaru was right, I've become a right bitch in my old age, suppose I did become something of a tyrant… hrm … I should probably do something about that… being an old bitch in the body of a young girl won't roll over very well… well, actually it might be fan-freakin'-tastic by my family's standards… not so much for 'me' standards… I'm supposed to be shy, weak, and adorable at this age…

I think I can only just barely stomach the 'adorable' part… yeesh… I haven't given a damn about how I looked since… since… well… okay I can't think of a single time I actually gave a damn about my external appearance. I just know that others often called me 'adorable'… yuck, yea I don't think I can quite stomach it as much as I thought…

Whatever, I'm going to have to work on _something_ to consolidate this whole personality crisis, I don't want to be the tyrant I ended up being in my old age, and I sure as hell don't want to be the weak, shy Hinata everyone would think of until the demon swept them up in its destruction… Kami I don't even know if changing would even help me get Naruto this time around… he didn't notice me, at all… well, maybe not 'at all', he did fight my cousin for me and listened to me when he was feeling down about the whole fighting Neji thing… and there were those few missions we did before he went off to train… but is that _really_ enough? I don't even know if I _REALLY_ liked him, some part of me would say I loved him, love him… ugh this time thing is going to screw with me so much… but do I **_REALLY_** care that much about him? I was only 13 the last time I'd seen him face to face as my idol… then 15 he was that blank thing before exploding into the demon and at 20… at 20…

GODDAMNIT! I'm a hundred and sixty three! Something that happened almost a century and a half ago should still bring me to tears! Gods be damn… just… just fuck you Kami, fuck you!

I'll… I'll just have to figure that out when I get there… for now… fuck, what the hell am I doing now?

Better question, I'm the three year old heiress to one of the most anal, pretentious, and paranoid clans in the world, what **_CAN_** I do?

Well I just took out a Kumo jounin, that's a start… I need information, and I need to train, **_seriously_**, this being unable to use my Byakuugan and other things like basic reflexes is really detrimental to my options. I need to figure out a way to train, _away_ from the prying eyes of my psychotic clan…

I swear if my father starts going all Hanabi on me I'm going to start purposely failing, epically failing, just so he can back the fuck off… I had quite the bit of freedom growing up, sure I spent it mostly spying on Naruto trying to figure him out and now that I think about it maybe being slightly creepy, but it was getting my stealth up, so it wasn't a total waste and that's as good a place to start… I seriously need to up my stealthage, and if my family is going to actually _pay attention to me_ this time around, I'm gonna have to get even better at it…

Who would be a great person to follow around?

* * *

"Hyuuga-san, what are you doing?" came the deep toned voice of non-other than the eleven year old jounin, Uchiha Itachi… yep, I totally just snuck up on you jerk!

"A-ano…" why do I have to sound so cute? I mean I managed to lose Ko, oh now I remember how much fun it was to slip away from his whiney teenage ass, hehehe, and while looking around the village as an unprotected minor I passed by non-other then freakin' Uchiha Itachi, UCHIHA GODDAMN ITACHI! Oh my god he was a kid once… that's… that's just weird… wow, they made vests that small?

He just sort of crossed his arms and glowered down at me with those black eyes, I don't think Uchiha know any expression beyond 'scowl' and 'glower', Sasuke certainly never did much more then that…

For some reason this body decided that holding my hand to my lips and pouting while looking at the ground and shuffling my feet was the appropriate response to his young glower…

There was a sigh above me as the to-be-infamous Uchiha just dropped his hands and looked embarrassed.

Wait… WAIT! That worked? Seriously? Holy fuck, maybe being adorable/shy/cute/whatever I used to be had its merits!

"Did you get lost Hyuuga-san?" he asked kindly, which considering this is _UCHIHA-BLOODY-__**ITACHI**_ this is kinda weird… but then again, I was best friends with Orochimaru for the better part of two centuries… maybe I can work with this guy too and get him off the wanted list later in life? Danzo had something to do with this right? That old prick, he seems to screw up more people's lives than anyone else…

"Mm…" this tiny body manages the barest of nods and hold out my hand like a pitiful child… ugh, I've taken down demons, warlords, entire nations… being a small child will probably be my hardest task yet…

It's funny how hesitant the young jounin is to just grasp a small girl's hand… really guy? You're eight years older than me, already a jounin which is quite impressive, but must you look so gloomy and scared of probably the _weakest_, most _unassuming_ not-even-a-konoichi girl on this planet… sure, give me a few decades and I'll knock you from this side of the planet to the next, but c'mon, I'm nothing right now…

"S-should I take you home, Hyuuga-san?" stop being so damn formal, it's really freaking me out…

"H-Hinata…" at least I manage to get that out, why is my mouth so hard to use in this body? Is it like ingrained shyness? I'll definitely have to work on this…

"Oh?" the older boy quirks a brow, it's funny how such a small thing changes his entire demeanor, he's really just not had any good socialization has he? Sure, suppose I'm not really one to talk, I got to have a childhood of sorts; he got thrown straight into being a ninja as soon as possible… poor guy…

he leads me away from wherever I'd followed him, seriously I'd only managed to follow him about three blocks before he quite obviously noticed me, my stealth is atrocious… and he's quiet, really embarrassed if I'm reading that Uchiha face right. I shake his hand just to see if he'll say something, he looks at me with a bit of a blush and scratching the side of his face, it's quite cute, "Is it okay for me to just call you Hinata?"

I just nod, not seeing a problem with it, course I don't seem to find much problem with him really. Sasuke told me, during one of our drinking nights, all about his brother and the reality of the man responsible for the Uchiha masscre's life… its quite tragic, and let me understand why Sasuke wanted to off Danzo so bad, guy's a total prick, I need to get better and seriously do something about that… but like Sasuke told me, he's a true hero to our village, he deserves better, and from this, a genius jounin his age helping a little girl who got 'lost', he's definitely a good guy… boy… Whatever…

We walk further down a crowded street, he's quiet mostly but I can tell he wants to ask something, but for some damn reason this body won't let me call him on it… maybe I'm just too 'young' to talk properly? After another street he finally looks down at me, "Are you the one that took down that Kumo jounin last night?"

It's really funny hearing such a thing from someone that winds up taking out his whole clan like its impressive. I just nod and huddle closer to his hand as if frightened… which, I suppose I should be… I mean I kind of am, just… well… since I still have the mind of my 'old' self I suppose I'm not really… damn body…

There's a smirk on that Uchiha face. There's a **_smirk_** on Uchiha Itachi's face! Why does that feel like some kind of lifetime achievement? "That's really impressive," he smiles at me, oh god this is just too weird, "Someone your age taking down a foreign jounin like that!" he's impressed and proud of me… someone not of my family that's sincerely impressed and proud of me… this is entirely too weird…

I can feel the blush coming on, oh god I haven't blushed like this since I was 13… sure not in the same sense I did with Naruto-kun, but, well… Itachi-san is praising me, and he's one of the top geniuses ever produced in Konoha… hehe…

There's a very small chuckle above me, "No need to be embarrassed," you realize you're not helping jerk!

All I can manage is to shake my head… no, there's plenty for me to be embarrassed about!

"Lady Hinata!"

What was that?

"LADY HINATA!"

Oh goddamnit…

Itachi halts when I really wish he wouldn't as we both catch sight of Ko running around like a chicken with its head cut off, ducking into and out of side streets frantically screaming out my name… so much for losing him I guess.

This time I actually get to sigh, at least we're now in agreement body!

"_L-A-D-Y H-I-N-A-T-A!_" Ko's panic seems to be getting even more obvious and higher pitched… really guy? You have telescopic eyes that can _see_ through anything, just freaking use them!

"Um, excuse me?" and Itachi, being the proper clan heir that he is, has to raise his hand and wave down the frantically running idiot I call a chaperone, great.

Ko seems to stop mid step, stock still, and turns rather creepily towards Itachi. I can see his Byakuugan activating as I just know he's looking at this _boy_ holding my hand… really Ko, really? He's eleven, I'm three, I think we're safe from certain assumptions about boys and girls!

Itachi lowers his hand and I can feel his muscles tense from our joined hands, go actual jounin! He knows when he's threatened!

Ko just seems to stalk forward, eyes not lessening the slightest bit as he _tries_ to glare down an eleven year old boy. Really Ko? Stop this posturing with a kid only a few years younger then you…

Thankfully, Itachi's quite the diplomat… the irony of this statement does not escape me, "Hyuuga-san," he politely addresses the older Hyuuga with a mild respectful bow, "I found your ward and was on my way to taking her home," I am _not_ a ward! If anything Ko is my father's ward! I'm his charge! His _charge!_ "If you'd like we can go together…" oh god he's doing that smiling thing again… its really, really weird on an Uchiha.

Ko just scowls at him, pouting almost really, but trying desperately to pull of that kind of scowl my father can do that brings nations to their knees, so glad I inherited that from the old bastard, "And you are?"

Another polite bow from the young jounin holding my hand, "Uchiha Itachi, Hyuuga-san."

Ko looks extremely skeptical, and I know exactly what he's thinking. We Hyuuga and the Uchiha don't 'normally' get along, doujutsu issues and all, you'd be surprised how much egos get involved when it comes to divinely gifted eyes, heh, so he doesn't know if Uchiha Itachi, the Uchiha clan's ultimate pride and joy, their heir and next clan leader, their super prodigy, is up to something for his clan with having _just_ found me and all. Oh Ko, don't start thinking about plots and counter-plots, I don't think your mind can handle that much paranoia, leave it to the professionals, like me, the Kenkage!

With one more scowl he just gives a bare nod, releasing his eyes and looking straight at me, "Are you alright, lady Hinata?" again all I can do is that cute nod and look down thing, well considering it stops him from asking further questions and loosen up I may have to keep this thing around. Then he looks back at Itachi, "This way, Uchiha-san, come along lady Hinata!" he makes this gesture like I'm supposed to let go of Itachi's hand and take his… HA! Fat chance Ko, I'm fine where I'm at…

I make a gesture of huddling further into Itachi's hand, obviously just _too scared_ to leave it, snort…

Itachi just looks at me, looks at Ko, back and forth a few times before shrugging, seemingly fine with this set up. Alright Itachi, you just got a few more 'good guy' points in my mind. I may have to employ you later in other instances I need to escape Ko…

Speaking of him, he just scowls, ruffles his robe and puts his hands in this sleeves grumbling as he turns his back on us two children, "Very well, _this_ way." Oh Ko, how I've missed you.

I manage a squeak of a giggle, and Itachi looks down with a light smile. Yea, I think I can see what Sasuke was talking about; his older brother is kind of cool.

* * *

Naruto's Story: age 6~ish

Hrm… Yoko? Kurama? Whatever the hell you want to call yourself this time you Kami damned Kyuubi! WAKE UP!

…

Really? C'mon! Stop snoring already! You were awake last time I did this shenanigans!

I try to make my way into the large Bijuu's cage to kick it in the nose… which doesn't work out very well as even in my own mind I'm pretty much locked out from the thing, thanks a lot dad! Can't even kick the demon I'm stuck with in the face cause he/she won't GET **_UP!_**

C'mon, you can't tell me you're just gonna sleep this term out?! What if I need you, damn kitsune!

Errgh… jerk… think I'll take you being an overly destructive bitch over just being straight lazy and sleeping the whole damn time…

FINE! I'm out of here…

I warp my consciousness out of the sewer Kyuubi calls its 'crash pad' and sorta wake back up in 'reality'. Ugh, my chest still hurts… that Ko guy really did a number on me, but that was healed real quick, it was Hinata's strike that still hurts for some reason. I scratch the sore area; seriously what'd she do to me? I can still feel the Kyuubi's chakra, and I just saw the damn thing so I know its 'alive', or at least still there… but damn… it was like she blocked me off from the thing for awhile. My Hinata shouldn't know how to do that kinda stuff already… I wonder how she did it? I'm actually more impressed then pissed about it… I mean Hinata's always been strong, just hard to pull out from her shell of shyness and insecurity… this girl, well, she's still got some of it there, it's just hard to see… she's still Hinata, just not.

Arugh! Thinking about these things is hard!

What's today?

I glance at the calendar… it's a Saturday, no academy, and none tomorrow… or if there were any I just missed it and, eh, I don't care, I'm more of a badass anyway, the academy is just a formality for me at this point, just have to kick this body into shape and alls good.

I am pretty hungry though…

After a quick run through my shabby apartment, thank whatever is above this place is still mine, otherwise I'd be really, really confused, and pissed. It was my parents, as weird as that is, and well it's been the only home I've really known, if it weren't mine… I'd be so lost.

Well a quick run around the old kitchen, which I seriously need to clean, I promise I will… once I get food! Hinata was very good at getting me to keep my-our place neat… it's really the only thing I can do in her memory I guess… but anyway, aside from dust and cobwebs, there's nothing in this place… sigh… guess that only means one thing… ICHIRAKU'S!

Aww yea!

I knew the way to Ichiraku's like Kagebushin, it's so ingrained in me that I could probably get there in my sleep. So out the door, down the stairs, and over to Ichiraku's I went… I'm young enough they'd probably let me eat for free, otherwise I could probably scrounge up a stipend or put it on my tab. I'm good for my debts, it was one thing I got down pretty good, I always paid back those I owed.

… like maybe a certain duck-butt-haired little boy… I owe his future-self _quite_ a bit.

Midway through my _delightful_ thoughts of what I could, probably _will_, do to certain emo-jerkbags, I trot into Ichiraku's humble little stand and jump up onto my usual stool, "Oi! Oji-chan! I want some ramen!"

Old man Ichiraku just turned on me surprised, "Naruto! Back so soon?"

Well, of course! This place has the best ramen ever made! All I could do was animatedly nod as I finally sat down, grabbing a pair of chopsticks and eagerly waiting my first bowl. The old man just chuckled at my eagerness, thankfully turning to start on some fresh noodles… mmm, noodles…

"Why hello, Naruto-kun," a calm voice spoke next to me, I hadn't even noticed when I sat down anyone else was here, seriously when I'm in ramen-mode all I care about getting is those delectable noodles and slurping down as many of them as possible and- "We missed you at practice yesterday, where'd you get off to?"

Say what? I finally turned on the guy… longish black hair, black eyes, pale face with those permanent lines under his eyes… wait, what?! Is this Uchiha Itachi?! Holy fuck! Its Uchiha Itachi! Eating ramen! Next to me! Breathe damnit, BREATHE!

Itachi seemed to notice was gapingly staring at him, maybe kinda obvious but considering the only time I 'really' talked to this guy was when he was a nuke-nin and… well, _dying_, and kinda being the reason his brother went all psycho… well… yea, you'd kinda be gapingly staring too bub. "Are you okay, Naruto-kun? You look like you've seen a ghost?"

Well, yea, sorta… I mean you've kinda been **_DEAD_** in both timelines I've inhabited and this is the first time we've talked pre-crazy… so… yea, yea I am. Luckily I just manage to just blink at him…

He just quirks his dark brows, which is also kinda weird since most Uchiha aren't that expressive, I mean Sasuke was always stone faced, and those two Madara guys were totally not into giving any kind of emotion beyond 'wangst' so yea… quirking eyebrows… from Uchiha Itachi… this universe is really freakin' weird, "I'm-ah… I'm good… I-Itachi-s-san…" really, this stuttering thing is starting to piss me off… how did Hinata deal with it for so long?

There was a bit of a smirk on the older guy's face, not quite that super-smug Uchiha smirk, but still 'knowing', "Now Naruto-kun, how many times do I have to tell you to call me 'Sensei'," oh dear sweet kami he's chuckling, it's not boisterous or really loud or anything but I swear to whatever Kami is watching it could silence a mausoleum its that creepy… or maybe that's just in my head as no one else seems to be affected, "Suppose it is better then 'Nii-chan' like my little brother…"

Wait, what? I've been calling Uchiha Itachi 'Nii-chan'? Seriously?! Hey! Kyuubi! Wake your ass up! I need some memories from this body stat!

… of course, all you do is snore more at me, great…

Itachi seemed to just keep talking… that's not ironic or anything, "Speaking of Sasuke, he was complaining about how much you skip," another creepy chuckle, "And if I'm not mistaken lady Hinata was quite upset at your absence…"

Hinata? "Really?" wow my voice sounds really scratchy, where's my ramen to fix that?

Speak of the devil and he shall come, thanks Ichiraku for setting this delicious bowl of utter deliciousness in front of me! I slam my hands together with my chopsticks and bow my head with a delighted, "Itadakimasu!" before diving into that thing like a ravenous beast, completely forgetting the last few seconds of conversation…

Itachi's just watching me, with what I think is a 'bemused' look on his face, it's really hard to read between the freakyness of him being 'expressive' and getting passed all that Uchiha-ness, "Of course, she really did miss you…" was he chuckling again? I think he's chuckling again…

I only pause in my devouring of ramen, chopsticks in one hand and my cheeks bulging with broth and noodles in my mouth as I just quirk blonde brows at him. I don't get it; she didn't seem all that 'missing' me yesterday when she kicked my ass along with her manservant? Not to mention your little brother you jerk!

I think I may have disgusted him with my horrendous table manners, hey, my Hinata **_tried_**, really hard, to get me to eat more 'decent', we were lucky I made it through a dinner with her Father to be honest, now I'm back to being six again, like hell I'm going back to being 'proper', pfft.

He finally just shrugged and I swallowed my bowl and started on another, "Just remember to show up again for our training."

I managed to swallow this time so I could ask him the obvious question, "Training? Why are you training us? Aren't you busy?" I mean from what I gathered he's a big badass ANBU at this age right? Why would he be training a bunch of academy students?

He just seemed to blink at me owlishly before sighing, "I've already explained this Naruto-kun, just because I'm a member of ANBU doesn't mean I can't help train some of the more difficult academy students," 'difficult' what the hell do you mean by that? My look must have said everything as he just continued, "Some more 'gifted' students have a harder time with the normal curriculum, and to be honest, I'm much happier teaching students then my normal work."

I had to stop myself from commenting on that last bit, from what I'd learned his 'normal work' consisted of being a double agent for the village and his clan… weird, how'd he get out of that this time around with just training academy students? "but aren't you doing more badass stuff?! Like kicking bad guys' asses and all kinds'a undercover stuff, ya know, being a real ninja?" that sounds terrible… hopefully its sufficiently childish that he'll just answer…

There's that sigh again, wow he looks really tired, "No, Naruto-kun, I would not rather be doing that," is… is that a smile? Like a small but deeply satisfied smile? Not an Uchiha-smirk? "Teaching you students, the future of this village," he put his hand on my shoulder, "You are much, **_much_** more important than my previous work," again with that pleased smile.

All I could do was blink… I mean… I feel honestly moved by his words, like I really matter… what a cool freakin' guy! Why the hell did he get so fucked over before?! And how the hell did he get out of it this time?! Holy hell, this universe might be pretty sweet! And this might be why my Hinata's such a badass! If she's taking lessons from Itachi, along with that bastard Sasuke and me… well, yea! No wonder she's such a badass now! Holy sweet! This is so freakin' sweet! I just can't help but grin wide and true at the earnest ninja, "Hehehe… thanks… Nii-chan~"

Oh that pout is _soooo_ worth it, I'm definitely using that name from now on! HA!

He groans, "Naruto-kun…" I can't help but keep grinning as I go back to my food. He seems mildly miffed about my calling him that but not overly upset, so it can't be that bad… and he's genuinely smiling at me now. He ruffles my head, causing me to snort noodles as he stands up, "just remember to show up again, I don't want to hear my brother or lady Hinata complaining again, understand?"

I snort the noodles back up my nose, it's cool I can just swallow those ones… shut up! It's perfectly fine Kyuubi! Wait… you're still asleep… well, still! Shut up! I turn back to Itachi with a grin, giving him a 'good-guy' thumbs up, "No problem, Nii-chan, I'll be there!" yes, YES! I managed the ping too!"

Itachi looked mildly disturbed, "Oh Kami Gai's gotten to you hasn't he…" I just cock my brow and look at him confused, he shakes his head and coughs discreetly, "N-nevermind," he pats me on the back again, softer this time so I'm not snorting noodles again, as he turns to walk off, "Till we meet again Naruto-kun!" and leaves with a decent wave.

I spin in my stool and wave back too… still eating noodles with my other hand…

Well that was cool… I'm getting special training with Uchiha-freakin'-Itachi along with Hinata and Sasuke-teme… wonder what other weird shenanigans are going on in this universe?

* * *

**A/N:** i like Itachi, and he always seems like a focal point of 'fix-it'/Time-travel fics... so why not? the guy's awesome sides from a few back choices and possible screws loose... seems perfectly capable of training small children... totally... XD

also... TL! -glomps!- welcome to this side of my insanity~ this should probably help some of those burning questions of yours :3 and i'm leaning more towards 'you were my friend before' instead of the Uchiha and Hyuuga getting along, that'd just be silly XD But hey, the former Kenkage may just be doing devious trickery... she's quite the mastermind... hehehe... dunno if 'old' Naruto can compete as much, he's obviously got some catching up to do in the shenanigans stand point XD

Melon lord... i'm thinking something in between RtN Hinata and 'normal' one... all the badass, less hussy... XD though maybe for this versions Sasuke, we'll have to see...

love to all my other reviewers as well! i wuv questions!

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	4. High Five of Awesome!

**A/N:** well, this one's all Hinata, why? cause she's got a lot more to catch up on, and i feel this covers all the necessary bits XD

Go Team Itachi! woo!

ENJOY!

* * *

Hinata's Story: Still age 3~ish

Okay, so I'm going to have to give some props to that absolute jackass that is my great-grandfather…

The puss-er 'Hokage' came over today to _finally_ discuss the whole kidnapping thing, which all of us Hyuuga could **_QUITE OBVIOUSLY TELL_**it was a bloody kidnapping attempt… for some reason in his soft head he thinks the guy was just randomly outside our house at night and I, for no reason at all, just bitchslapped him because I could… dude, come on?! Even for some of the shady denial things I've done in my one hundred and sixty three years that's a fucking stretch! There's so many holes in that story I don't even know where to begin… Occum's razor will be quite blunt once I'm done using it here…

So basically the senile monkey had the entirety of the Hyuuga clan glaring at his obvious incompetence… I never noticed how evil my mother could look before, not to mention my uncle… my father was rightfully stonefaced, but for him to show anything is like moving a mountain without chakra, possible just insanely difficult… so it was quite hilarious when dear old great-grandfather that obvious ass just started laughing. A Hyuuga laughing is creepy, since we don't normally do it, an **_Elder_** Hyuuga laughing is rarer then the direct hand of Kami coming down to bitchslap some sense into someone… and considering our 'divine' talents, maybe I've made an unconscious connection there…

"You are an idiot," okay great-grandfather I think you and I can see eye to eye for once…

"I beg your pardon?" Sarutobi, why looking so miffed? He just called you out on your bullshit.

The older-old man got up with his staff and walked in front of the gathered Hyuuga and Hokage, "Let me understand… this 'man'," I would love you more if you used airquotes, but you didn't, bad great-grandfather, "claims to just have been wondering around _our_ grounds at night and lady Hinata just _happens_ to attack him?" there's something ghastly that escapes his old lungs, I think it's a laugh, "Hokage-_sama_," I never noticed the condescending before, HA! "you would have to be a fool to believe that!" no need to argue there…

The other old man scowls, "That was the testimony we received from the Kumo jounin," why are you growling? "who will possibly be paralyzed for the rest of his life thanks to this!" oh whaa… why the fuck do we care about a foreign dignitary that broke the rules?

Oh I can just feel that glare great-grandfather is giving the old monkey, I see where my father got it from, "Of course you would fall for such fake sympathy, you weakling," yes, dab it on thick there! Its fun watching the old man ruffle! "he's too embarrassed to admit he was taken down by such a weak child of our clan," okay, I'll take that you dick, but there goes all the love points I was giving you, "that he was _trying_ to kidnap!"

"There is no evidence he was trying to-" yea, just _try_ to pull that crap this time… we've got the upper hand here, that douchebag isn't dead this time…

"You **_DARE_** to accuse my daughter! The victim here!" go mom! Oh my god I barely remember you after you died giving birth to Hanabi, but damn! Go mom! She grabs me around the shoulder and pulls me closer, coincidentally more into the old monkey's line of sight, "My daughter would never wonder the grounds at night, let alone attack someone!" well, I would, but that's years from now so semantics…

"B-but…" stop floundering Hokage-_sama_…

"My wife is correct, as well as our elder," my father, straight faced as always and never more scary as he _glares_ at the Hokage with barely restrained anger, "Hinata has never shown the confidence to openly _fight_ someone, let alone _attack_ them," I should probably take that as offensive… but I'm not, "she is only three years old, and from what I saw, what she did was done out of fear… even if it was remarkably effective," wait… is… is that a smirk on my father's face? holy hell, he really is proud of me… that's… I don't even know at this point…

"Hmp," old great-grandfather taps his staff, "As you can see Hokage-sama, we have more accurate testimony on young Hinata's character to prove that story false," those old white eyes narrowed more and I think the Hokage shivered, serves you right! "What do you have to say about the credibility of this man, hm? Anyone here that can speak for him?!" the hard slam of his staff makes me jump in my mother's arms… holy damn! Great-grandfather! That's a great point! I wouldn't have done better myself…

In fact… "H-Hokage-s-sama," thank this body for sounding so frail and weak, it makes my family's argument that much better… suppose I'm lucky I get to even be here this time, no way in hell am I wasting it, "W-why n-not h-have s-s-someone f-from h-his c-country s-s-speak f-for h-him…" c'mon, take the damn bait! I'm an innocent child, I have no idea what I'm talking about but you both want that you old bastards!

The Hokage looks shocked, horrified almost at the prospect, but great-grandfather… oh hell no, he's grinning… well, a Hyuuga grin, but still… I can see it and that's all that matters. These old guys might be easier to manipulate then I thought. Orochimaru was I this bad when I was older than them?

"That sounds like a magnificent idea!" it's really creepy seeing that old bastard so happy as he glares down directly at the Hokage, "Why not have the Raikage speak for his top ranking Jounin himself, since he deigned it too unimportant to even be here for the treaty signing, perhaps he'll reconsider for this black spot on their reputation…"

If I wasn't being held tightly by my mother and in such an easily frightened body, I would be clapping you old bastard…

God the old Hokage looks so uncomfortable, "I refuse," really, why? "I will not have someone as dangerous as him in this village after the war we just ended… it is too dangerous!"

You weak idiot! Jin would never attack without reason, especially if he's here for a mission that's supposed to be tainting the pride of Kumo! The easiest way to threaten or manipulate Kumo-nin is to attack their pride! This jounin fucked up, not just that, **_ROYALLY_** fucked up! Jin won't stand for that, he has to keep the pride of Kumo alive… so he _will __**not**_ attack us! You fucking idiot!

I'm so pissed I barely notice my father writing something quickly then handing it off to my uncle… what?!

Stone faced and the perfect diplomat as always, "Very well, Hokage-sama, if you will not contact the Raikage on this 'misunderstanding'," there is so a smirk there, "Then I will simply have to invite him myself…" check, and mate, bitch… do not fuck with Hyuuga.

The Hokage looks absolute horrified… HA! Oh that is priceless… were you scared in your old age to have met such a man as Jin face to face Hokage? Kami be damned you've truly become weak in your old age, so scared, so insecure, incapable of making a decisive aggressive move… now I know I was _never_ like this when I ruled. I never bowed, I never cowered, I took and conquered whatever I had to, to keep my people alive and safe… if there's one thing Jin helped me learn, it was to never back down… he and the previous Raikage never did, and look what they garnered from the other Kage, I'd have to call that an effective political strategy.

Suffice it to say much of the remainder of the meeting was the Hokage whining for my father to retract his invitation… why he didn't just send an ANBU to intercept my uncle, or shoot down all our birds is anyone's guess… I certainly would have, we can always train new birds, and that'd just show how fucking serious I am as a leader… damn, Sarutobi, you were the 'God of Shinobi', why are you such a bitch now?

I garnered something of a new respect for my father and great-grandfather at that meeting… it was funny because not even a week later had we gotten a response… in the form of the Raikage banging on the large doors to Konoha with mighty electrical fists… all by himself. Now, as a former leader of a large nation, you've got to give respect to someone that would willingly walk up to an enemies fortress and just bang on the door demanding to be let in, especially if they are alone. Sure, it sounds stupid, but that kind of confidence is not something to be trifled with, and I know very well what Jin is capable of so I would never call him an idiot for doing such a thing…

When the gates opened the Hokage attempted to greet the towering man with the Raikage's hat slung around his neck… he simply walked past the old man and headed straight for our district. It's kind of blunt to state he knew exactly where the Hyuuga grounds were, and it seemed he was nothing if not blunt.

"HYUUGA!" I swear if he banged on our gates any harder they'd come tumbling down, "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! YOU INVITED ME!" well, can't argue with what's true…

My father greeted him; stone faced as usual, my uncle and the other branch member elite guards surrounding him, the point made absolutely clear. He was allowed in, but if he so much as moved an inch wrong he was getting several Jyuuken strikes to the heart… funny thing, I don't think that would take him down, Jin was quite the juggernaut, could punch out the demon, and was an excellent sparring partner, his Lightning Aura making him very difficult to combat as it could counter Jyuuken, even act like it… so yea, have at it father if you so wish…

I only got to see him a moment as my mother dragged me off while my father directed him to a viewing room… it was him… Jin… my friend…

Tears started to form in my eyes as I couldn't help it… he looked so young compared to the last time I'd seen him, taking down waves of swamp ninja for murdering my child, hell even compared to the first time I'd met him he'd seemed so down and broken. Sure, he was still a prideful man, he still stood tall and threatening, but 'Jin' had lost everything that gave him pride… it made him seem worn down and old, this man was the 'Raikage', young and still very much full of pride, he still have so much to lose…

I could hear his loud boisterous and fiery speech only interrupted by moments of silence I assume were my father's polite quiet proper Hyuuga tones. I wanted nothing more than to sneak over there and listened to what they were saying… this was a rather unprecedented event, a clan leader speaking to a Kage from an enemy village, **_in_** their home, not just home village, but **_home_**. As shinobi we're so paranoid about information, about the direct placement of our homes, the specifications, the weaknesses… no one in their right mind would willingly invite their enemy here… yet my father had, and the Raikage was sitting with him at that very moment. It was funny to think that while Jin was utterly surrounded in the center of an enemy village, **_he_** was really the more destructive threat… from his position he could wipe out the Hyuuga, then whatever other parts of the village he wanted, and probably just make a big hole in the great wall as he escaped… after watching how he died, I don't doubt he could take on this entire village and still make it back to Kumo…

I went to sleep fitfully that night… wanting nothing more than to see my old friend… knowing in reality it wasn't him…

I awoke the next morning to my uncle shaking me awake, it was early but the sun was up enough to see, and he simply told me to get quickly dressed and to follow him. It took me a second to wake up and remember I was three years old again… I was having dreams about the old wars I'd fought and won with the Oni of Kumo at my side… maybe it's because I could still hear his voice as I slept… did he and my father even go to sleep last night?

Once I was presentable, as in adorable and in a kimono I felt wouldn't be rude to our guest, my mother wanted to put me in the best one I had, I know Jin, it would be more respectful to him to wear something more plain… Kumo-nin had this odd respect for simple things… I won out as I didn't have time for this, so out I went in a simple dark blue kimono with my uncle leading me. Once we made it to where I could still hear his loud voice and my father's raise but still lower growling, we stopped…

I had to take a deep breath to calm my nerves… it was more than just meeting the leader of a foreign/enemy village, it was seeing _him_ again… an old friend from a time long gone…

"Are you prepared Hinata-chan?" oh my uncle, only breaking formality when it's just the two of us… I barely remember you but I enjoy that small thing.

After taking another deep breath I just nod, "Mm," and open my eyes, trying to look as threatening as I could as my uncle opened the door and bade I go in alone.

Two steps in an Jin is already laughing at me, "What is this, a fierce kitten?" his grin is malicious and terrifying, this body is not reacting well, and okay seeing _how much_ smaller I am then him… yea, yea I'm kind of scared, I'll admit that… holy fuck I don't remember him being this _HUGE!_

My father is off to the other end of the low table, stone faced and just watching me, apparently not going to say anything about our _guest's_ obvious rudeness… thanks a lot father!

I have to swallow hard and try to get this damn shaking under control, I am the Kenkage damnit! Jin was one of my greatest friends! I will **_NOT_** cower before him! "G-g-good m-morning, R-Raikage-s-sama… O-Otou-sama…" at least I can get that out with the appropriate bow… it's a start…

"Hrm…" he's rubbing his blonde goatee, leaning to one side as those tiny black eyes of his remain on me, "At least you've got your proper respects right, brat," his gaze shifts to my father, "Unlike the rest of you lot…" I can't help squeak at that, my father disrespecting the Raikage? Naa… that can't be… though he _is_ sitting at the head of the table, unlike the man that technically out ranks him… there was a reason I address him first, and it wasn't because I remember my courtesies… I honestly respect him, or his future self more than my father… the large Oni just waved his hand, addressing the empty seat in front of him, "Sit, little kitten…" and he lets out a chuckle, probably thinking he's insulted me… not really, he used to call me 'little tigress' so I suppose I've got to work my way up to that one…

Now, knowing my formalities I know I should be at a social dilemma, there are two seats open, one across from my father, the other across from our guest. Technically I should listen to the one with the higher rank and give him the courtesy of sitting across from him, as he's a guest, but knowing my father and that look he's giving me he wants me to pay him the respect and show his _superiority_ over the _RAIKAGE_ by having me sit across from him… I know that my 'younger' and much more fearful of _him_-self would totally pick the later… but pfft! Yea right old man, fuck you, I have more respect for that galumphing Oni then you or anyone else of my blood… it takes no more than a second and I'm seated respectfully under the full gaze of Kumo's Oni. There's a small grin that picks at the edge of his lip like I've just impressed him, though he's probably just amused I effectively just flipped off my father… hehe, I've missed you Jin.

"Good choice, little kitten," I've missed your bluntness Jin, screw rules of decorum about not _saying_ anything. He turned a more vicious grin to my father who had his eyes closed and I could just tell he was reaching the end of his rope in patience, "See, I knew at least _one_ of you white-eyed bastards would have proper respect," a large meaty hand waved across the table and pointed rather obviously at me, "But _of course_ it's the youngest, most fearful one amongst you, what does that say about you lot?"

Oh, my father could chew metal between his teeth right now and spit out kunai… god this is fun to watch.

"You have seen my daughter, Raikage-_sama_," he is just gnawing on that honorific isn't he, he just can't _stand_ it! Oh my god this is the greatest thing I've ever seen, my father being upstaged in his own home… by Jin no less! "Are you satisfied?" what? The hell does that mean?

The Raikage just growls, more like a deep sigh but I know there's definitely a growl there, he doesn't like doing things he doesn't want to do, younger Jin is definitely more pompous… this is funny. He crosses his large arms over his wide chest and just looks down at me for a good long minute. It's quite terrifying to be the center of attention to the large Oni and at this age I'm relatively defenseless… I don't like being defenseless, I really need to correct this as soon as possible… I wonder if Itachi wouldn't mind giving me a few extra lessons…

"Hrmmm…" oh right, Oni staring at me, he's rubbing his goatee again, now I remember that as Jin's habit when he was thinking deeply, which despite his look he was quite the strategist… I often wonder who taught him, because he was quite the opponent in shougi. Finally he seemed to hold his large palm out in front of me, all I could do was blink, what the hell? "Strike my hand…" what? "The same as you claim to have done my subordinant."

Oh fuck he's serious… damnit, damnit, damnit… I look to my father completely scared… I'm screwed, attacking a Kage is a capital offense, I could start another war! Not to mention I'm not entirely sure I can do the same as I did then… I wasn't thinking! I was just offended! Father, do something!

"You must be joking, Raikage-sama," yes! My father looks decidedly pissed! "You asked my daughter here for her to attack you! Are you trying to start another war!"

Oh crap I know that look on Jin's face… sit down father, just swallow your pride and sit the fuck down, "Sit down Hyuuga," oh Kami he's got that low tone in his voice, "I'm here to get the truth about the accusations you level at my subordinate," nice way to word that… I really shouldn't be so impressed while he's about a second away from dive-bombing my father across this table… "But first I want to verify _your_ accusation," oh Kami his eyes are on me again, "That this little frightened kitten is the one that put him in your hospital," a sharp glare at my father, "And not you…"

Well played Jin, well played… if I were my old self I'd be applauding you. You refuse to make a statement until you know all the pieces you have to play with, if I'm unable to attack you as I did that idiot, it was my father that struck him and therefore an adult, another Hyuuga, their _Lord_ in fact, so there would be no pride lost in accusing us… if I manage to attack him the same as I did that idiot, I prove we speak the truth, his man's been fingered, so all he has to do is disown him, removing himself from all responsibility and they can slink away with no loss or gain on a simple matter of damaged pride… I knew there was a reason I liked you Jin…

"Something amusing little kitten?" aw crap the smile must have actually gotten on my face.

I immediately shake my head, "O-of c-course n-not, R-Raikage-sama."

"Hmp," he's giving me that critical eye again, I'm partially curious if he can't spot my old mind unlike the rest of my family.

Well, no time like the present. I stand up, focusing on my hand, on my feelings of using Jyuuken to kill on the battlefield, this body may not be used to such a thing, but I'm an old warrior, my mind is all I need, I can _make_ my body 'remember' such a thing… I have to, I _need_ to… if I'm going to impress anyone at this age, I might as well be a man I truly respect… I can feel the chakra burning in my hand, good, just let it all go…

I open my eyes and glare straight at Jin the same as I used to during our spars… maybe that's why I can do this, I'm familiar with him, more so then anyone else here, he was my friend, my confidant, someone I helped save the world with. If I can't prove my strength to him like I used to, what the hell is the goddamn point of coming back here? I draw my hand back, slipping into a perfect Jyuuken stance and strike his hand with all the force I can get this body to muster, "**_HA!_**"

I feel the strike connect, feel this young arm buckling under the unfamiliar weight but I hold it despite the pain. I feel the chakra I'd build up release into his hand, feel it as it moves through that large palm, and oddly, I find it somewhat comforting have my tiny palm flat against his monstrously large one… for a moment its like old times… for a moment, I'm with Jin again…

Then a boisterous laughter fills the room, and he removes his hand from mine, "Bwahahahahaha! That tickled," aw crap… he raises his hand and shakes it out, flexing it in front of his face as if it were only asleep… damn, am I that weak or is he that awesome?! "I think I've seen enough Hyuuga," he gets up, his head nearly reaching the ceiling as he walks around the table.

Forget my father, all I can do is stare at him… was he leaving?

He stops a moment near me, not that its that hard he takes up like half the room, and just looks down at me with those serious small black eyes. Suddenly he reaches out and pats me on the head, I can feel my father and about fifty other Hyuuga power up as the shoji walls come down and we're surrounded by branch members and elite Hyuuga warriors alike… so many Byakuugan flaring, so many hands charged with chakra…

So many people I don't give a fuck about at this moment as Jin just pats my head with his giant hand, messing up my hair and grins earnestly down at me, "In a few years, when you're older, come fight me little tigress…" and he lets me go and simply walks out of the Hyuuga manor.

Everyone else follows him, glaring with white hot Byakuugan active, thinking he was going to kill me…

I have tears in my eyes as my mind goes blank, my mother hugs me thinking I'm terrified when really… I don't think I've been so goddamn happy in my life… "H-he… he called me 'Little Tigress'…" again! He called me it again! Jin, if you weren't out the door and probably being threatened every which way the Hyuuga can, I'd run and glomp your massive leg…

Oh, don't you doubt Jin, in the years to come… I'll get back to my 'old' self, and we'll have that fight, you can count on it…

Suffice it to say the Raikage quickly left after 'retrieving' his insubordinate subordinate, tell the Hokage the guy was acting on his own and will be handled back in Kumo. I knew the pride thing would work, though it may have been something else, I may have impressed him, but either way that guy is likely dead, if not for treason against an allied nation, the Raikage had re-signed the treaty with a few amendments about Kumo and Konoha now being allies as weird as that is, then for being such a weak pussy as to be taken down my a three year old that had been his captive… either way, he was a waste of space Kumo didn't need, and the Hokage was too much of a pussy to say anything else about the incident.

Sure, he bitched constantly for a good long while with my father wanting details about his insubordinate meeting with a foreign leader, but my father was too pissed to fully accommodate the Hokage, having felt he was completely insulted by the Raikage, which I don't blame him, Jin kind of did just look down on him the whole time… also I may have helped with that, but eh, details…

So the 'Hyuuga incident' from my past was effectively wiped out, my uncle's still alive, so Neji shouldn't be as much of a prick, and by one-uping my father in front of a foreign leader, specifically the Raikage, I'm back on his wangst list so hopefully this means no super-special-'training' like Hanabi got and I'll be left more to my own devices… Itachi's been quite the help in that area as well, since the day he brought me home, with much of Ko's bitching, he's been coming over more as a 'diplomatary' mission, apparently assigned by his mother, so he got to see me after I'd just met the Raikage and like my mother thought I was totally upset so he bought me ice cream… not that I'm complaining, but seriously you people keep thinking my being upset about something _awesome!_ Is just wrong.

Still… free ice cream is free ice cream, hell yea! I wonder if I can get Itachi to get me cinnamon rolls as well… that'd be even better!

It's been like two weeks since that incident and Itachi still keeps getting me ice cream, I'm curious about this diplomacy mission his mom gave him, if it has anything to do with the both of us being clan heirs I may have to have a talk with this woman sooner or later… I may be all for exploiting political policies but I will **_not_** abide anyone trying to set me up in an arranged marriage… and as awesome as Itachi's been, he's still Uchiha-freakin'-Itachi, even if they do set something up it'll be void in about five years unless I figure out some way to get him out of that bullshit… hrm…

He is a cool guy, but I'm not interested in an engagement… and screw them if they try to toss up Sasuke, ugh, he's like a brother to me, more so then Neji ever was, and so far probably ever will be, so… ugh… just no, just **_no!_** I can't help shuttering at that disturbing thought…

Ugh, goddamn Uchiha, I thought my family issues were bad, just thinking about what Itachi and Sasuke's parents are thinking right now is creeping me out.

I need a distraction.

"A-ano, I-Itachi-kun?" I look up at him with what I hope is an adorable gaze, gauging this body is becoming harder as I think my 'old' persona is becoming more dominant, I need to hold onto this 'cuteness' for at least a while longer until I'm strong enough to be the badass I am.

"Yes, lady Hinata?" always so damn proper, suppose I should be grateful, he is only eleven and I think even he would be freaked out if he knew what his mom was probably trying to set up…

Alright Hinata, it's now or never, I need to get this bullshit handled, and really who's the best person to get help from besides an awesome prepubescent jounin? "C-can y-you…" damnit mouth work! "C-can y-you help t-train me?"

Shockingly all he does is raise a brow, "And why would you want my help?"

Curious, you seem almost prepared for this Itachi-_kun_. I do that cute biting my lip and looking down thing, "Y-you're r-really strong… a-and…" and I need another excuse, come on… what else… ah-ha! Jin you jackass, you're still working for me! "A-and I-I don't t-think O-Otou-sama is happy… a-about w-what happened…" he may not be, but I sure am! Hell yea!

"Hmm…" Itachi just seems to look off into the distance and thinks really hard, absently sucking on the ice-pop stick he'd licked clean awhile ago, "Okay."

Well that was quick, "R-really?"

"Mmhmm," he nods firmly, like he's just made a lift altering decision… for all I know it _really_ is a life altering decision… oh crap, "My father wants me to go into ANBU, but to be honest, I'd rather train my brother while I have the chance," he looks down at me with that boyish grin, "If I have you as well, maybe he won't be as against it, I'd like to help you as well Hinata-chan," FINALLY! Not so damn formal!

I just smile as well and don't say anything. Itachi will likely still be scouted into ANBU, can't really be helped with us having just left a war, even if we're now allies with our enemies, but they'll want his talent… but if Sasuke and I can help him skirt enough ANBU bullshit, like Danzo, we might be able to save at least Itachi… and… well… suppose this is as good a place to start as any, "I-if you h-had more s-students…?" I can't get the full question out, but the small grin tells me he understands…

"Maybe we can find someone else to help train too, is that what you're asking?" I can only manage a nod, damn Itachi you're easy to manipulate, maybe because you're so young… he has this wide grin, like he's just had a perfect idea, "I think I know exactly who else I'd want to help train…" and quickly the two of us end up going off to some orphanage… Ko would be pissed that we aren't following his meticulously laid out plan…

But then again, if I'd known _exactly_ who Itachi was grabbing… and I had nothing to do with this I swear, I may have just bitchslapped Ko across the field without telling him to shut up… because standing there in a field, desperately trying to get along with others as a little boy my age, with blonde hair, whisker marks and bright blue eyes… yelling about stupid things and how unfair he was so much shorter than the rest of the older kids playing…

I don't remember much after that as I think I passed out… oh Kami I still do that… why, _why_?

* * *

**A/N:** no i don't think there will actually be a 'Team Itachi'... maybe... maybe not... hrmm... i need to think about this...

as for the Raikage, I LOVE HIM! :D 'Who You Callin' Hyuuga?' kinda proves that... i can't help it... he's awesome!

also, wuvs to all those reviewing, faving, following, etc.~ this is just my crack break from WYCH, so don't worry Guest, i'm not leaving it alone, just being insane for a small moment :P

Comments, question, gimme more reviews! you know you wanna! :D

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury


	5. Backup-Backup-Backup Plans

**A/N:** giggle insanity is a go!

ENJOY!

* * *

Naruto's Story: Back to 6~ish

Okay… I think I'm starting to get this…

I been wondering around town and realized several things way different from the last time I was doing this and now. For starters, HOLY CRAP! I'm awesome! I dunno what it is but this body is much more kickass then my last one… sure, I'd only started like a year before and it was hard to get some good training going at first but I like to think I was still 'decent'… boy was I wrong! I'm jumping rooftops already like its nothing and my chakra, while not perfect, is pretty sweet and I got better control… sorta… not a lot but something at this age is pretty big… especially later, I finally get all that griping Kakashi-sensei and Ero-sannin were complaining to me about learning all that boring basics stuff before, how it makes everything else later easier? Hell yea! Course having the experience of a seasoned Hokage's pretty sweet too…

Another thing, people aren't glowering at me as much… sure they still look at me nasty, but a lot are more ambivalent, or truly scared, but not of me, and from what I'm hearing, the other clans… that's weird, since when were clans scarier than the Hokage? Thought he was the head honcho around here? Wonder if that has something to do with my apparent training under Itachi and with Hinata and the bastard? They're from clans, right? So it's gotta be from them or something…

Also, since when do I write so much? I don't remember being this literate the first time around, and honestly reading and writing came kinda second nature the second time since I already knew it… well the reading more than the writing, that's apparently more of a skill-reflex thing so still had to teach myself that, but obviously I got it a lot sooner than I did the first time… this time, I already know it, huh? Also, I apparently write, _A LOT_… I mean it's helpful, I guess, since I got not freakin' idea what the hell I'm doing or what's going on so it's rather helpful to have a neat little schedule to tell me when I'm meeting up with Itachi to train, what days are school days, and when's free ramen day, I used to just memorize this stuff or go when I felt like it… information is kinda nice! Though I also know as a former Hokage that this much of a paper trail is just asking for trouble… I'm gonna have to see if there's some way I can _stop_ this and it not be weird… course no one lives with me still, so it's not like it can be _that_ weird if I stop… right?

Eh, whatever, details, I'll handle that when it becomes important… and I suppose a few papers won't kill me… I mean I survived over a decade of Hokage-level paperwork, so, ya know, I'm AWESOME! Like that… hehehe…

But yea, the whole reason I brought these paper things up, I mean as weird as it is to see my handwriting plastered everywhere, it does help a lot in the whole figuring out 'who' I am… since the Kyuubi's apparently decided to just bail on me… like flat out, I been trying for days to get this bastard awake and nadda… how the hell long can demons sleep? I mean did he/she ever _really_ sleep with me before? I always just kinda figured they were out when I wasn't talking to them… huh, never really thought about this before, hrm… must be all this extra brain power… I guess?

I mean, from these pages obviously someone's been teaching me basic writing and other important things, like maths and stuff, I mean I got that stuff, eventually, both times, but it just never seemed all that important really. Never really considered teaching myself this stuff early on… huh, maybe I'm trying to get a higher grade in the academy? But wait, if I did that… wouldn't it screw up my whole team placement? Who's team would I end up on if I did marginally good? I think Shikamaru was the bottom scratcher with me, but that was from sheer laziness… so…

I shutter, ugh, no offence to Chouji, but hell no, I'm not chilling on team 10… Sakura was bad enough, I get the feeling Ino would be like a hundred times worse…

I think Kiba was next after him… so maybe team 8? Oh, hey, I could deal with that, Hinata would be on it!

… wait… if I'm being all smarter-different, and Hinata's being all junior badass, wouldn't that mean she'd be trying for top konoichi? Which Sakura had… how the hell did she get that? All on smarts? Do the konoichi take a different test then us boys because there's no way one of us would get 'top ninja' for just freakin' book smarts… has there ever been a female 'Rookie of the Year'? hrm… should probably look that up, chances are no just due to the lower amount of konoichi candidates and girl's seem weirdly obsessed with 'love' and all that silliness at this age… pfft! Like any of us guys would be that silly…

…er… well… _maybe_ not…

What were Hinata's scores? I don't really remember… I know she kicked ass in the physical-actual-ninja-stuff… maybe she just didn't test well like me… huh… cause yea, you'd think just _knowing_ Jyuuken would be an automatic 'Rookie of the Year' kinda thing, a _real_ fighting style with _real_ attacks and being deadly with just a tap… seems more useful then whether or not I can do a damn bushin… seriously, fuck that skill… I may have to just Kagebushin this time up, I mean I purposely failed last time to catch that jerk Mizuki… maybe this time I can just 'accidentally' break his nose or something, hehe…

Hrm… well that's all like six years from now, so I suppose really I shouldn't be worried… its not like I'm _trying_ to graduate early or anything…

Right…

… right?

…

Der…

Well that's what all these journals are for!

Now where the hell would I put my 'goals' and whatever other bullshit I spouted a lot as a kid… probably be covered in 'Hokage' left, right and center…

… uh… huh… what's this book?

Hmm, well worn, gots some doodles on the outside… kinda old… are these tears in the cover? Oh that's just sad… I mean its _me_ but c'mon! even as a little kid I was more badass then most! Here I'll flip open some page and read of my awesome childhood triumphs!

Hrmmmumblemumble… ah… huh… hey! What's up with this book?! Where's all my awesome! What's all this crap about getting my ass kicked then some awesome girl comes in and kicks ass for me?! Why does that sound familiar? And this… t-this: _"Hinata-chan is so awesome and strong! I want to get strong like her! Dettebayou!"_ well that last bit I can overlook, but this other bit! What's this! Why this!

I… I mean sure, Hinata is _totally_ kickass… but not **_NOW!?_** Or… not _supposed_ to be… what's up with this Hinata… and why all this weird emo-flowery stuff in this book about her… huh… _"Hinata-chan did this cool flip today, I tried it and fell on my ass, Sasuke laughed…"_ that asshole _"but Hinata-chan just picked me up and said to try again… nothing stops her! I wanna be that driven!"_

Stop! Stop! **_STOP!_** Right there, what the hell!? This… this isn't me! Well… well… not 'me'-me… the cocky attitude I show off to get attention sure, but its still 'me'… sorta… and this… this vulnerable thing… I gotta still be a badass in front of her though?! Right? I mean the way those two acted… I still gotta be a badass…

Uh… yea… we'll-we'll go with that…

What's with all this stuttering and self-doubt bullshit? I'm the goddamn Rokudaime Hokage, c'mon Naruto stop acting like… like…

OH-MY-FREAKIN'-KAMI?!

I'VE GOT A CRUSH ON HINATA!?

…

SWEET!

Well, that handles that issue I guess… and explains that weird stuttering I suppose… but what the hell?! What's up with this world? I'm the studious emo that writes in my diary about the girl I like… and Hinata's a badass… KURAMA/YOKO! YOU BASTARD/BITCH! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THIS WORLD?!

This level of symmetry is freakin' disturbing… its like we switched places long ago for some reason, why?! What the fuck?!

I gotta find out what the hell caused all this…

* * *

Hinata's Story: somewhere between 3~ish and 5~ish…

Soooo… yea… about that whole 'get a basic team setup and trained by a world renowned village badass to be badass from day one' plan… not… quite… working…

Yet…

So it seems after I fainted, dear sweat Kami why do I still do that? Itachi had gone and tried to… I dunno what his 'plan' was… 'adopt' Naruto? Take him on loan for his crazy training idea? Whatever, apparently it didn't work… he doesn't have the 'clearance', I believe that's the word he said the matron used, weird, to do… whatever… with Naruto…

Soooo… this non-konoichi woman can basically neglect him, or show obvious anti-favoritism to him when it came to stuff… but a highly trained **_Jounin_**, and let me repeat as it needs to be, _UCHIHA-__**FREAKIN'**__-ITACHI!_ Can't like… 'pick him up' for a day or so… on some arbitrary order from the Hokage so clans can't 'interfere' with the Kyuubi container's development… huh… yea… yea I just said that… huh…

Ya know, Hokage, I'm going to _seriously_ have to do something about you because every time I _try_ to do something beneficial, possibly, for the future… you seem to have set up some ridiculous bureaucracy to overall just… fuck it up… there, I said it… Hokage-sama, you are on my shit list for fucking up all my plans before I even have them… I hope you're happy.

This is goddamn ridiculous!

Whatever, I'm only 3… not like I can do much I suppose to influence anything at the moment… I mean I only managed to life-time paralyze an enemy jounin and get us a treaty with a former enemy… but pfft, that's nothing compared to 'corrupting' the village pariah… goddamnit I'm starting to understand why Orochimaru wanted to just level this place…

Ugh… okay, just breathe… breathe…. In… out… repeat… good…

Okay… well fuck… can't do much else but train at the moment, can I? It'll still be a few years before the academy soooo… yea…

Goals for the moment, train enough to be a badass, learn under _UCHIHA-__**FREAKIN'-**__ITACHI_ hopefully, maybe curtail Sasuke away from crazy-ish tendencies… for now, I may need that later if I'm to go through certain promises of doom on _certain_ individuals… and pretty much keep myself 'in trouble' enough with my family as to _not_ warrant total admiration/affection/praise/whatever I wanted as a kid… I'm old enough to live without that crap… honestly, Sasuke, Orochimaru, Jin and Anko I spent several decades with, most of them either enemies or Nuke-nin at this point… and I barely spent half that with any of these people I'm related to… pfft… I think I should make some effort for those 'old friends' of mine, Jin's deal seems to have worked out well, so far, now it's just a matter of me getting up to his level quickly enough, hrm… oh yea, and that other stuff…

Welp, training it is!

* * *

Several years of training later…

So, yea, to make this short, I'm a badass!

Okay I can't really show this off to my family else It'll fuck everything up, Itachi seems to have it in his head I'm hiding my true power to 'save' my baby sister that was just born not long ago… and killed my mom… sure, we'll just go with that Itachi, whatever makes you happy…

Sadly training to pre-Academy students, me and Sasuke, who I can't believe is so freaking adorable at this age… honestly, there was a time he was just 'cute'? I've only known him to scowl, grunt, and glower… this one's all fluff and squishy and… I dunno, all those things little girls are apparently weak to… he's utterly pathetic and I can't believe he ends up being 'Rookie of the Year' because honestly, he's no _UCHIHA-__**FREAKIN'**__-ITACHI_… Honestly his brother is such a dose of genuine, purebred badass its making me squeamish just being in his presence… I really want to see what he's capable of, I've got to get at _least_ half of that before I leave the academy… and yes I'm still graduating at the same time, I figure it's just free time for me to train… I'll start caring/fucking with the system when I get there… I have unholy revenge to plan on the Hokage at the moment…

Oh right I was making some point before getting sidetracked, I swear I still feel like my brain is 'old' when my body is so young… but yea, so Itachi's been training me and his little bro, much to Ko's aneurism-inducing-disappointment… hehe… my father's just glad to get me out of the house and it involves the word 'training', so that's a good thing as it keeps him off my back, but sadly this wasn't enough to keep Itachi-sensei out of ANBU… I fear he may be within Danzo's sights so I've really gotta do something… if there's someone within _my_ sights, other then the Hokage, its Danzo… that prick is responsible for far too many things… and as a former Ne operative, I know just how fucked up he is… he just because I 'passed' your stupid 'dehumanization training' doesn't mean it worked dumbass… or that I'm not going to remember your crazy ass rants… sure at this point I can marginally agree with some of the ravings, but I'm going to have to turn them down on principle at this point…

So yea… need to figure out how to get Itachi out of his potential spot… his parents sure as hell aren't making it easy, his mom keeps quite obviously trying to set me up with at least one of her sons, if not both, ugh, but luckily I can bare ignorance since I'm only like 5 or something… my sister was born like a month ago, so sure, 5, we'll go with that at the moment… where was I? oh yea, crazy Uchiha…

Seriously, I've been over there to 'train' with Itachi and Sasuke all the time, I'm practically family I spend so much time over there, which I'm sure their mom is _trying_ to do but bitch please, I'm a hundred and sixty-five… I'm the mistress of this bullshit at my age, keep trying young genin… but really, either they're idiots and _terrible_ at being subtle, or they don't think two 5 year olds, me and Sasuke, will know what they hell they're talking about… which I suppose is true, Sasuke had no idea about the Coup before… so I guess they're just idiots… whatever, its terribly obvious, even if they weren't spelling it out in front of me…

I mean, I'm not going to criticism them on the whole wanting to 'take over' deal, believe me, I'm already there with the Hokage being number one on my list, but honestly… their plan sucks… and this is speaking from a hundred and forty-three years spent as the Kenkage, you guys are plain amateurs when it comes to an internal-strife-take-over-plan… or as I shorthanded to ISTOP… yes, I have short hands for all these kinds of things… believe me, I've had time to use each and every one of them.

Anyway, they're idiots… one, there's too many loose ends, assuming that everyone's going to do what as planned is bullshit, if there's one thing Orochimaru taught me, and this is honestly just by talking with the man and not as an actual 'lesson', but always have backup plans, and backup plans for your backup plans, to the point where no matter what happens, you win. He was a master at it, and his immortality deal definitely helped… I had horrifying ruthlessness so, eh, that… but these guys are idiots… and the problems with one just lead into two, zealots… one practically _REQUIRES_ any member involved to be a zealot… and that's a lot to rely on… working with zealots like those Jashin freaks taught me pretty quick, don't trust zealots, they usually fuck up right when you don't need them to due to some inherent stupidity… so one is flawed, and build on two which is even more flawed… and that was just me sitting down to lunch with them… honestly people, five year old can spot problems already… and don't even get me started on their ridiculous time-table…

No wonder Itachi went nuts… I may have to figure out a way to keep the massacre 'on' but avoid him dying… he seems like a decent guy and more than adequate ninja, I will need people like him in my new-world-order… maybe… or at least for when **_I_** take over Konoha… or just kill the Hokage, either or works for now…

But I need a distraction… something so loud, so annoying, so in-your-face and won't leave you alone for anything that'll make him incapable of pulling off whatever the hell it is Danzo and his idiot father are trying to do… some much so to the point they _can't_ rely on him for it… hrm…

"Just you wait! When I become Hokage… I'm gonna come back you're all gonna have to respect me!"

Oh thank you dear sweet Kami for answering my prayers…

I'd just been walking by myself… yes, completely unattended, Itachi is off on some mission, and Ko's been sequestered for diaper duty, not that he knows Itachi is on a mission or anyone else in my family… as far as any of them are concerned I'm 'training' right now with the moody teen-ANBU… Sasuke's probably choking on a lego right now without supervision… heh…

But back to my current predicament… I ask for an answer to my plans, there's one right in front of me… Uzumaki Naruto, Konoha's to become number one most unpredictable ninja… and from the looks of it he just got kicked out of the orphanage… which means no more bloody matron… no more paperwork… direct access… super-pre-academy team plan is a go! God I sound like an idiot…

The blonde is grumbling to himself as he's picking up his meager possessions off the ground…

Okay Hinata, last time was terrible, honestly, downright terrible… you just fainted, right then and there and you hadn't seen him in over a century… seriously, the last time I saw him was… well I'm going to completely block that mental image from my brain for the moment as it seems he's getting away… shit! I sense the fucking Hokage… he's going to swoop in and somehow fuck this up for me I just know it!

Alright plan A! walk up and befriend him is a go!

… is a go!

… any time now!

…

Aw goddamnit! Mother-fucking god-fucking-damnit! REALLY?! REALLY?! Why the hell can't I just go up and say 'hi!' to him like a normal human being! WHAT. _THE. __**HELL?!**_

This is not funny Kami! Not funny at all!

… grumbledamnit…

Fine! Fuck it! Plan B! STALK HIM LIKE I ALWAYS DO! Is a go!

Stalking… stalking… wow its weird how I remember how to do this so easily… huh, guess you really don't forget how to stalk certain people… and I just creeped myself out, nice one Hinata, nice…

Wait… what's this? I sense three academy students…

"Hey, what's this? Sum brat? Watch'a got in that bag?" the biggest (fattest) one says…

"N-nothing!" as cute as that is I just realized something…

Those three… oh come on?! Really? _Those_ guys? Those assholes that I had to apologize to cause I ran into him and he lost is fucking ice cream? **_REALLY?!_** I mean… sure, I got to meet Naruto-kun then and he stood up for me when no one else ever had at that point but… but… COME ON!

…

Fine, you know what, fuck this…

Plan C… What would Naruto-kun Do? KICKASS! Is a go…

One of the would-be thugs goes to grab Naruto-kun's stuff while the other skinny one grabs him and puts him in a headlock… sigh, well I guess I can't really expect someone who just got kicked out of an orphanage to know anything about fighting beyond windmilling his arms… which with his size is really ineffective… they just laugh at him…

"C'mon pipsqueak, wha'chu got"

"ARAGGGHHH!" I'd give him an A for effort… F for everything else… Naruto-kun makes it out of the headlock only to get easily tossed, his stuff in the older boy's hand still… welp, time for Plan C!

"L-Leave h-him a-a-alone!" really frightening there Hinata, I think you frightened the dust away.

They all just kind of look at me, the older boys busting out laughing, okay, yea, ya know what! Screw you guys! I know I'm tiny for my age, and a girl, and only in a training gi… and really frail… and pale… and… ya know what shut up! If they're too dumb to know what my freakin' **_eyes_** mean they don't deserve time to know anything!

I go in with a charged Jyuuken strike, I'm not _quite_ perfect, sure for _this_ age but I still feel its off, but its enough to send the idiot flying into a tree… the other two are shocked, well one for a second as he tries coming at me from behind while the other just gaps like the idiot he is. Honestly, I could beat these guys in my sleep… with my _hair!_ Too bad I'm only _five_ and not my real age of the awesome that is one hundred and sixty-five, but eh, I'll work with what I got… so mood number two tries to get me from behind, he obviously has no idea about Hyuuga or the fact they can see everywhere at once… with my Byakuugan active, which I **_FINALLY!_** Activated last week, thank all that is below and Orochimaru… I manage to 'see' him, twirl easily on the ball of my foot and strike him in the chest as well… I'm _really_ trying, I'm too young to have any really 'effective' chakra, but I can dish out enough to paralyze, and guys this weak, oh yea, no problem…

That's two down.

I just end with a perfect stand and glare at the last boy with my active Byakuugan. He takes one look at me, screams like a little girl, drops Naruto-kun's stuff and bolts… HA! Showed you punks…

Sadly all my bravado just seems to leave me the moment I leave my stance and turn off my eyes, they're quite the drain at this age, need to work on that…

"that… was… _AWESOME!_" oh my god that almost gave me a heart attack!

"Eep!" I just jumped didn't I… yea, I just jumped. I turn around and see Naruto-kun just staring at me with that wide-sparkly-eyed hero worship he normally gave to people like the Hokage… waaait…

Immediately there are arms around me and I think nuzzling is involved, "ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou…!" I kinda blacked out by the last 'Thank you' so… yea… so much for 'Hi! Naruto-kun, wanna join our awesome training and stop a badass from going crazy?!'

Eh… I'll ask him tomorrow… or whenever the hell I wake up…

* * *

**A/N:** Orochimaru's advice of a lifetime: "ALWAYS HAVE A BACKUP PLAN!" thank you, you psycho immortal snake man... but it does seem to be his thing... i really want to bring him in on this since i've seem to made 'old Hinata' kinda... evil? non-altruistic? seeking world domination for plausibly 'good' reasons? ... eh, i'll figure it out when i get there...

Naruto-kun... always apply one when your Hinata gets too badass! XD

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury

Ps: for my 'Who You Callin' Hyuuga?' fans... i'm halfway done with the next chap... like i said, this is just me doing a crack break XD


	6. SNAKES! MOTHA-FRAKIN' GIANT SNAKES!

**A/N:** hello again~ so i been sitting on Hinata's side for awhile since Naruto didn't want to work for me for awhile, and i was trying to go do the 'right' thing and work on WYCH... several rewrites later and i'm back to this needing a crack break and Naruto hands me a bowl of ramen and we crank this out :P

ENJOY!

* * *

Hinata's Story: FINALLY up to 6~ish

Okay… so I think I just met the coolest person in the whole damn world…

"Hey kid, you want one of these cinnamon buns?"

Lady, you have no idea how long I've waited for someone to say that! As much as I want nothing more than to just grab the bun offered in the teen's hand, I'm more too overwhelmed with the question to do more than just stare, huge wide white eyes just tearing up at the offered confection.

"Uh… _oookay_...?" the teen raises a purple brow, tossing the lovely at me before dropping into a seat next to me.

"Eep!" I make a wave and obvious show of catching the precious cinna-bun, holding it close so as to not drop it several stories… oh, did I mention we're sitting at the edge of the roof of a building? Because yea, we're sitting on the edge of a roof of a building… CINNA-BUN! Munch…

"Keh," the older teen laughs, "You're pretty funny kid…"

"H-Hinata," I manage to get out through a mouthful of sweet delicious awesome…

"Hinata, eh? That Hyuuga girl that decked that cloud nin all those years back?" it's funny to me to keep hearing about that, guess it's still considered impressive. I vaguely nod to the young woman's query while still savoring the cinna-bun, all she does is give this scary laugh… why does that sound kind of familiar? "Man, I would have _loved_ to see that guy's boss' face when he heard," a snort as she pulled out a stick of dango from the bag of awesome that had the cinna-bun, "Sorry boss, failed my mission cause I got bitchslapped by a 3-year-old, HA!"

I can't help but giggle with the young woman while she laughs boisterously, seriously that's sounding oddly familiar? Also by her terminology, I so totally _did!_ Bitchslap him!

The young chuunin, I can now recognize the green vest in my periphery, just gives me this wide toothy grin, "Man, I'm surprised they didn't drag you in and give you a vest then and there!" I know she's being sarcastic but it makes me blush either way…

I deliberately shake my head 'no' while swallowing what I'd just bitten off the delicious, "Mm-mmh, O-o-otou-s-sama would be v-very displeased if I'd-" I finally turn and actually _look_ at my odd company… and nearly drop my cinna-bun. There, sitting next to me is none other than Mitarashi Anko… former student of Orochimaru and in my future, probably the longest lasting female friend I'd ever had, and with how Orochimaru treated us, might as well have been my sister.

"What?" she pulls away the dango stick and wipes her face, "Something on my face?"

No, but holy fuck? I do a quick calculation in my head; she must be 17 or 18 at this point, but holy _DAMN?!_ She's wearing clothes?! She's got the standard green chuunin vest on, only unzipped enough to be comfortable and I can see that necklace from her parents, with of course the mesh short-sleeve shirt underneath… and probably that's it, but instead of her shorter-than-short cuffed skirt she's actually wearing decently lengthed shorts, sure skin-tight and above the knee, but that's just for mobility, with meshing, of course, under that and going into her knee-guards that go right down to her sandals… for Mitarashi Anko that's like putting on full parka-gear… and WOW! Not having the trench coat makes her almost indistinguishable from everyone else… that's just odd, huh… but honestly, she _loses_ clothes when she gets older? Damn… only you Anko!

"Seriously kid you're freakin' me out," I catch that lower tone in her voice and immediately look straight up into her face. The first time I met her was at my first chuunin exams, where she was the proctor, in that trench coat and not much else… the second time we met, and this time _truly_ met was after I'd gotten back from my botched mission, right before Konoha was destroyed and she was interrogating me for information on what had happened. We'd stuck together ever since, just surviving the destruction with the few others that managed, finding her old sensei, Sasuke, Jin, and anyone else that just would not die! She died naturally before I turned a hundred, but still, she was one of my greatest and longest living friends…

I can't help the grin that spreads on my face, it must have looked really creepy as the young chuunin braced herself expecting an attack… well, it wasn't _quite_ an attack, though I did fling myself at her and wrap my arms around her waist and nearly threw us off the edge of the building… but, details, I finally found Anko, and she was fine! And safe! And as far as I know normal!

"Ack! What the **_FUCK_** kid!" she's got both hands in the air, one saving her dango stick the other bracing us on the roof and I can sense her using chakra to make sure we don't drop.

I don't really care, it's her! I feel only slightly ashamed to say some nuzzling may have been involved… cough…

"Geez kid, nearly scared me to death…" as harsh as her words are her voice is actually rather soft, despite all her outward harshness she was really a quite gentle and kind person. Sure, a **_GREAT_** torture and interrogation expert, but that didn't detract from her ability to be as kind, caring and understanding as she was… I don't think I could have gotten through a lot of my rougher times without her… and that's probably why I became so much colder when she died, she was the last one… first Jin, then Sasuke, then her… all that was left for so long was just me and Orochimaru… sigh, I missed you sister…

She must have been really confused as I could feel her slowly lower her hand onto my back, look around suspiciously, then _very_ awkwardly start rubbing my back, "T-there… there, kid?"

"T-th-thank you…!" wherever the hell you are Kuro, no I haven't forgotten you you damned aspect of death, THANK YOU!

I get the feeling Anko was looking at me weird as she nervously patted my shoulder, "Uh… kay?" she seemed to look around again before glancing back down at me 'nuzzling' her, "Don't get very many sweets at home do ya kid?"

I don't care if it's totally wrong; I will take her thinking that… I might get more cinna-buns! I sniffle, nuzzle one more time then finally let her go, rubbing my eyes as yes, I'm totally crying I'm so freakin' happy right now! "Mm…" all I can mange is this pathetic nod… sigh…

"Heh," I hear the bag ruffle and when I open my eyes there's another delicious in front of me, my eyes widen and water again. I look up to the person offering it; my dear sweet sister is giving me that cocky grin, "Guess you need another one, huh?"

I don't even remember if I ate the last one or dropped it… oh well, new cinna-bun! As much as I want to snatch it I graciously take it, savoring every last damn bite of its gooey deliciousness and am so damn happy to just be sitting here, on the edge of a roof, with my future sister-of-sorts eating sweets…

Anko seems just as delightfully pleased with herself, devouring a few more sticks of dango with that cocky grin never leaving her face as we sit in a comfortable, munching, silence.

"_… Lady Hinata!..._"

We both look up in unison, at each other, then down…

"…_LADY HINATA!..._"

Both Anko and I spot Ko running around, again, frantically looking for me… sigh, when is that lovable idiot going to realize he should just use his damn eyes…

Anko busts out laughing next to me as he scurries off down another street, "HaHA! What a freakin' idiot!" she nudges me with that cocky grin, "Here's a lesson kid," with her free hand she made a gesture of pointing 'up', "if you lose something, always look '_Up_'!"

I can't help the grin that spreads on my face… life lessons from the snake duo are certainly never boring. I happen to look 'up', following her finger and spot a boa sitting over her shoulder staring at me with golden eyes.

The delicious pauses about three inches from my mouth and I'm stuck staring…

"Hm?" Anko pauses and looks up over her shoulder, probably not having realized, "Da fuck?" those brown eyes narrow as the snake looks back at her, seemingly with the same look, she scowls, "Hebimaru, what're you doing here?" the snake just seems to snort… then gestures towards me and back at her, "What?!"

Hebimaru, Hebimaru… I don't particularly remember this snake… hmm… she had quite a few snakes, but I never got close to being friendly with any of them. Hrm… at the time I thought it would be interfering with personal matters to ask about summons, but… well… I am a kid now… it's not like anyone would think it weird for a kid to want to get to know a curious creature, right? "W-what… what is that?"

"Hm?" the pruple haired chuunin turned on me, the snake too, "Oh, uh…" they looked at each other as if embarrassed… I finally notice that the snake has seemingly taken it upon itself to wrap around her waist, huh… "This is a boa constrictor," a light smile came to her face as she raised one hand to the snake's head, scratching under its chin then bringing it towards me, the snake following her arm, coiling around it, "Name's Hebimaru," a smirk as the snake's head leaves her open palm a few inches from my face, "Say 'hi'!"

The snake, of course, opens its mouth and hisses loudly at me…

… I'm a small child, I can't help the slight scream and jump, I really can't, "Eep!"

"Hey," the older woman growls, bringing the snake closer to her face. They glare at one another for a good minute before she raises her other hand and flicks it in the nose, "Be nice…" I'm assuming it's a 'he' from the name, only snorts in response. A continued glare-off before the young woman smirks, turning to me and letting the snake go back about his business, "He's actually quite nice…" well, that answers that question…

I can only quirk a brow, "i-is he a s-summon?" call me a curious kid, as I try reaching out to the boa that's lowered itself on her other side and seems to lazily glance my way. Those gold lidless eyes just glance at my hand approaching… I can't help but squeak and freeze…

"Heh, smart kid," Anko's still grinning cockily at me, as she noogie's Hebimaru, he doesn't look very happy, "But nope! This little guy is just a native of these parts!" well that's slightly disturbing… there are snakes wondering around town that could strangle small children, wonderful… wait, did she say 'little'? "He likes to wonder away from home when he smells me around, quite the curious baby he is…"

I can't help but gulp… 'baby'?! I look back at the snake… oh god, if this is a baby, then…

"Hehe," why are you laughing Anko, "You should see his mom! She's got to be a good thousand feet long, not to mention about a hundred wide…" WHAT?! "A lot of the ANBU and jounin will tell you nothing like that's around here, least outside Training Ground 44, but I know, hehe…" she nudges the snake again while I can just feel the blood draining from my face, "He tells me she's usually searching around the wall for anything to eat… you can bet she's nearby if you see him snooping about…" don't, don't pet him affectionately! You could call his mega-mom down on us!

She's petting him under the chin… and oh god why does it suddenly look cute?!

"So," Anko makes sure to grab my attention, "You know about summons?" a cocked, skeptical brow, "Especially about me and summoning snakes?"

If I weren't 'me' I probably wouldn't have noticed the small, almost hidden, fear in her eyes. I don't remember much about her from when I was young, just that she was scary and I felt scandalized for how little she was wearing… and being scary, but when I was older and got to know her I learned about how she had problems in the village due to her 'relationship' with Orochimaru. She specifically worded it that way and I always wondered why, when he joined us she immediately tried killing him… at least three times… Sasuke and I had to pull her away after the third time, figuring that was enough blood on the floor. I have no idea how we managed to get them to get along after that, but after the demon it was like nothing happened… Orochimaru and Anko were practically inseparable until her death, though I don't know if it was her choice or him trying to 'make up' for whatever happened between them… it was a very strange relation I felt no need to delve further into. They were both my friends and very important to me, that was all I cared about…

I hope I can do something about that this time… maybe 'help' them… or prevent Anko from going off on some idiotic suicidal bender against him…

But for now, I just slowly nod to her question, "I-Itachi-sensei, told us about summons," I nodded towards the snake, "Said most animals that stick around shinobi are summons… s-so I t-thought-"

Suddenly there's a hand on my head, rubbing my hair out, "Heh, smart kid!" I can hear the carefree relaxation return to her voice… practically relieved I 'don't know' about her past… doesn't matter Anko, it'd never be a problem to me.

"S-so…?" I look up at her with what I hope are the cutest eyes ever…

That slightly creeped out look and tinge of red on her cheeks tells me I must have succeeded, "S-so, what?"

Time to be a blunt kid, aw yea! "C-can y-you summon snakes?" I already know the answer… but still, figure it'd be good to get it out of the way.

The _slight_ blush doesn't go away as she pouts looking away and scratching her head, I don't get why you're so ashamed of such a cool ability. Hebimaru seems to just be lidlessly glaring at her… "Well… yea…" she shrugs, turning back to us and rubbing under his chin, "Snake summoning is a bit more intricate then other summons… least that's what my old sensei used to say," she mumbles that last part lowly, I think I wasn't supposed to hear it…

But I'm a dumb kid at this age, hell no am I letting that go… she'd never let me ask this later, "Y-your old s-sensei?" I notice her stiffen, Hebimaru extremely displeased with the pet ending so soon. Guess it wouldn't hurt to push a bit further, "H-he t-taught you how to s-summon?" I have to gulp at the serious look she gives me; it's obvious she's one word away from getting angry and doing something stupid…

"Urgh!" she roughly shakes her head, least I know she's not going to randomly attack some poor defenseless kid, "He was an ass…" she bristles, giving Hebimaru enough time to disentangle himself from her arm before she angrily crosses it with the other, "a big, stupid fucking jerk of an ass!" more growling, before she glances at me, "… and I probably shouldn't be teaching you this kind of language… but fuck!" she shakes her head, "Damnit! Fine, to answer your question kid, yea, he taught me that and a buncha other sweetass shit, but… ARUGH!" her arms go up flying as she growls at the sky, shaking both fists…

… Hebimaru and I huddle together, _politely_ scooting a foot _away_ from her…

Anko fumes for a good few more minutes; the snake and I just wait and let her. She growls again before taking a good long deep breath, "Okay… I'm good…" another deep breath as Hebimaru and I just look at her, "I'm good."

"O-okay…" note to self… do not bring up Orochimaru around Anko again… lesson learned, and considering she's friends with a giant thousand foot long monster snake out there, probably best to keep that in mind. I look at the bag, which looks decidedly still full-ish, "More dango?"

"Oh god I thought you'd never ask!" immediately 'happy' Anko is back, bag in hand and shuffling out two sticks of dango for herself and probably the last cinnamon bun for me… Hebimaru just wraps himself around me with his head on my shoulder, staring at the strange confection in my hand.

"So…" she rips off another dango from the stick, I'm pretty used to her eating habits to be honest, "What'cha doin' up here anyway?" I pause in my munching to look at her confused, thankfully she swallowed her mouthful, "Normally you're off training, not moping on rooftops…"

Have you been spying on me? I can't help but raise a brow at her confused, is this why you brought me sweets? I mean sure, we haven't met before in this timeline, and I suppose I _should_ find it odd for some random 'stranger' to give me my favorite sweets… buuuuuut… I dunno, I'll just blame it on being a dumb kid, and wanting cinna-buns! I delicately finish what I was eating before responding, "H-how… d-do you k-know t-that?"

She gives me a cocky grin instead of shy away from being spotted, "Yea, I been watching you, you're pretty interesting kid," I suppose I should find that cocky grin intimidating, "Getting in tight with that Uchiha-golden boy, I dunno _how_ you got him to teach you and those other two brats anything, but hey, it's pretty smart… he's a _genius_ after all," ouch, that sounds a bit bitter… I'll have to ask about that when I get the chance.

"I-Itachi-sensei i-is nice," I twiddle my finger, poking my index fingers together, wow I haven't done this in over a century, Ha! "A-and h-he's a g-good teacher… h-he wants us t-to be s-strong…"

I can't really tell what the look on her face is… there's concern and a genuineness to it, probably something from experience? Even at their ages, I know Anko and Itachi have their horrors along with their stories… "Heh, anyone else and I'd say he was trying to make his own little super-squad, the little prick…"

All I can do is tilt my head, paranoid much?

The woman sighs deeply, "point kid," those concerned brown eyes look at me, "What's eating you? Like I said, kinda odd Itachi's prized pupil is moping up here."

I can't help but pout, "not moping," absently I scratch under Hebimaru's chin, he flicks his forked tongue out, I guess it's a 'pleased' response, I'm not exactly an expert on snakes, "a-and I'm not his p-prized p-pupil…" a frown, I really need to hide this better, I can't believe someone I didn't even notice watching me caught so much, "Sasuke-kun is much b-better than I am…" a total lie but I'm _not_ supposed to be such a badass…

"BULLSHIT!" the older woman shouts, I can't help but jump, then she's laughing, "That little punk is barely up to the Uchiha's standard, no damn way he's better then **_you_**… haHA!"

Well, can't really argue with that… Sasuke would probably stab himself in the brain with a kunai if left unsupervised for too long, snort… not to mention Naruto-ugh… immediately my hand goes to my face. Why did I think about _him_… damnit…

There's a snarky chuckle next to me, "Now we're getting somewhere," she nudges me, "Who ya thinking about kid? I bet they're your big problem, eh?" damn that woman and her cocky grin!

I turn a good fifteen shades of red, I can just feel it… plus Hebimaru nuzzles closer to my face, damn coldblooded reptiles!

Anko can't stop laughing…

Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!

"Ohhh… I think I know what this is about~!" oh fuck, I know that tone in her voice… "Does this have something to do about that Naruto-brat kissing you~!" stop sounding so pleased with yourself!

All I can do is squeak, turn another couple shades of red and bury my arms in my hands… _SHUT__**UP!**_

Hebimaru is of very little help as he keeps trying to nuzzle closer to the radiating heat on my face… goddamnit!

"Hey!" at first I think she's yelling at me… then I notice a tug on my reptilian friend as he's _politely_ removed, "Don't smother the girl… she's just embarrassed…"

_NOT _REALLY HELPING! Though it is nice getting the snake off me… I'm starting to get how people can find them creepy, all that slithering and potential to crush so easily… er…

"So kid," I manage to glance up enough from my hands to see her holding Hebimaru, oddly the snake looks immensely displeased with his new position, while the woman holding him is only _mildly_ smirking, "Wanna talk about it?"

Not really, no! I manage to just shake my head; furiously embarrassed… it was bad enough _Sasuke_ saw that, I didn't need to know _others_ saw it too… I mean, just what the hell got into Naruto anyway? I mean, sure, he's _Naruto_, always coming up with some new way to either screw up or astound, but… but… well… I… er… OH GODDAMNIT I'M GOING RED AGAIN!

And Anko's laughing again… I swear Hebimaru's laughing too…

Just… just what the hell Kami?! WHAT THE HELL?! I… I'd never, really, got to kiss him before… and… uh… fuck… I'm only 6, this kind of crap shouldn't be happening for another good ten years or so… fuck! And… and he'd not shown such… such… _audacity!_ Before… sure, he would randomly pop up and challenge me, Sasuke would deck him, being the 'protective brother' I never had or Neji's supposed to be… then just pick himself up, shout a lot, make me blush but I usually hid it well enough (or so I thought) and we'd head off to train under Itachi… now… now I'm insanely confused!

"I-I d-don't u-understand…" I didn't realized I'd said my confusion out loud until I felt Anko reach around and tug me closer by my opposite shoulder. She partially hugs me and I'm only slightly aware of the slithering along her arm, Hebimaru's quite the empathic snake, hmm?

"Shh… shh…" I felt her head lean down and rest on mine as I felt her hand squeeze my shoulder, "Yea, guys are like that… make no damn sense…" I really want to question her on that, sounds like from experience, but I'm somewhat distraught and wrapped up in my own confusion.

"I-I j-just d-don't un-understand why he did i-it!" okay, now I'm getting angry… and Anko lets me go with this funny little smirk on her face. S-Shut up!

"Hehehe," goddamnit Anko stop laughing and help me! … and stop sounding like Naruto! It's not helping!

All I can manage is a glare… a small 6 year old floundering Hyuuga glare… it's a start.

The young chuunin next to me of course just keeps laughing… damnit.

It's been a long time since I felt this… comfortable though. Heh, oh Anko… it's been way too long since I've had you around. Hopefully this is the start of our second friendship… I think I'd rather like that…

She laughs at me for a good long while, I remain perpetually embarrassed and confused, and Hebimaru keeps trying to come back over to me since I'm _clearly_ the larger heat target. After a bit I get another cinna-bun thrown at me, she pulls out another dango stick, Hebimaru's back on my shoulder and I'm left wondering how many sweets she has in that damn bag…

Suffice it to say Ko had a heart attack when he finally found me an hour later, sitting with Mitarashi Anko, eating sweets, with a boa wrapped around me and discussing the best ways to 'disarm' an opponent…

All in all, a pretty good day!

* * *

Naruto's Story: 6~ish

I wonder where Hinata is…

I'm frowning as I'm walking down the dusty street, arms curled up behind my head as I saunter around like I used to as a kid. To be honest, I'm looking for my future wife… maybe… and since I blipped into this weirdass dimension where she's a junior badass and I'm effectively her, I haven't been able to find hide nor hair of her… I'm half tempted to think she's avoiding me…

But that's stupid right?

Why would little Miss. Junior-badass be avoiding me?!

I mean… well, upon further examining of this situation… okay, so maybe Hinata _would_ be trying to avoid me… but even then I'd AT _LEAST_ still feel her stalking me… or something?

I just grumble, kicking a can… again, not a hide nor hair of the girl I got to at least kiss so far in this timeline… pretty sweet too, as that means **_she_** is my first kiss! Not Sasuke-teme!

I shutter…

Ugh… even in my last time through _that_ still happened… believe me, I wasn't trying, maybe he was I don't know, I'd gotten to be sorta-friends with Hinata-chan that time around but there is NO _WAY_ in Kami's green planet that I'd have been able to get away with pecking her back then… so 'not' my first kiss that time around… does it still count as a 'first kiss' if my body technically hadn't experienced it before even if my mind has? Hrm…

HEY! Lazy-ass Fox! You got an answer to this?

…

_Still_ nothing… well nuts to you jackass!

Hrm… wonder what I should be doing… suppose I _should_ be in class… pfft, like that's even worth me going to now… but since it's the middle of the day there aren't a lot of things to do _but_ go to class… ugh, how boring…

Think I need the Hokage or someone to pop up and reprimand me before I decide to go pull an Uzumaki-brand prank on this dullass town…

…

…

Any minute now Kami…

…

…

Seriously, waiting on some divine intervention here to alleviate my boredom!

"_…lady Hinata…!_"

a-wha-?

"_LADY HINATA!_"

Oh frak! It's that weird manservant guy again, crap, hide! I quickly jump into the nearest trashcan, remembering to grab the lid and put it on top of my head. REAL NICE ONE THERE KAMI BY THE WAY! REALLY GODDAMN FUNNY!

"**_LADY HINATA!_**"

Oh goddamnit! He's RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Really?!

… holy hell he is loud… I can't help but shove a pinky in my ear to try and get the ringing out, I don't know if it's the trashcan amplifying his loud voice or he's really just that LOUD! What kind of Hyuuga are you man! Come on! Thought all you shmucks were prim, proper, and most of all QUIET!

I swear I am going to snap at him if I hear him scream out her name one more time-

"**_LAD_**-!"

UZUMAKI UPPERCUT! BITCH!

… goddamn I really just socked him right in the jaw didn't I, huh… outta the trashcan, uppercut to your face… damn…

Also… HOLY FUCK! DON'T YOU GUYS EVER LOOK DOWN! Jeez this is the same move I used on Neji, TWICE! And seems to work every-freakin'-time…

I rub my chin musing as I gaze down at the unconscious Hyuuga… wonder if I should use it against Hinata next time we spar, hrm…

…

Where the hell did _that_ come from?!

I can't help staring at my hands, did I really just think that? Uppercutting my one and only because she's such a little badass and I want to beat her so bad that I'd _actually_ act like a real Ninja to do it? Holy hell, this world is weird!

I shake my hands out as I run off from the unconscious Hyuuga… worse comes to worse he gets mugged, but seeing as he only had like twenty bucks on him I doubt anyone's going to bother… now to make my daring escape, and back to normal things, like what the hell am I going to do?!

Okay, suppose I should get on that whole 'fixing the world' deal Kyuubi is normally bitching at me about… suppose since he/she is deciding to snooze this one out I'm stuck on my own in the thinking department… and considering I could literally give a fuck less what happens to this world beyond hooking up with my wife I'm not exactly feeling obligated to do much of anything, honestly…

Sure, I should probably find a more 'diplomatic' way of handling Sasuke-teme… but he seems to already be getting in tight with Hinata, and that's just an automatic number one on my shitlist right there! Okay, last time I didn't _quite_ handle him as _gracefully_ as I had before… sure neither really worked out 'good' so maybe I really should put some thought into this 'ask questions first' tactic… seriously, last time he got two words of his whole 'breaking bonds' speech out before I ripped his arm off and dragging his screaming, bleeding ass back through the woods to Konoha… and ultra-violence only resulted in MORE ULTRA-VIOLENCE! So… yea… probably should do something about that…

Hrm… well considering we're all about 6, that really only means the closest 'major' event I could _try_, heavily stressing this **_TRY_**, to interfere with is the Uchiha Massacre… and while Itachi told me the whole story a lot of it _STILL_ makes like no sense to me… like why was Danzo such a nutjob? What the hell was he really trying to do? Killing Uchiha's for the greater good wasn't his goal in the slightest, I remember him from back in my original time… sorta, how he just took over while Baa-chan was unconscious and not giving two shits about what anyone else thought… Sasuke really dealt with him more then me… and _obviously_ I can't ask him for details… hrm… then there was that other masked guy, Madara1, whom I'm guessing was the one Itachi was talking about having 'helped' him wipe out his clan… can't really think of anyone else that'd just be that much of a prick…

But wasn't there some other stuff too? Like they were planning something?

GAH! This is all damn confusing… and not sure I really give a ratsass…

An image of a certain earnest smile pops into my head and I can't help but double-over sighing in the middle of the street on my road to life… damnit, Itachi was-is a pretty cool guy… even now I seem to know him this time around and cause of that I know Hinata and his bratty little brother, dunno how much further then that but it's a start… and a good enough reason to give a damn about him at least… and if I can stop him from doing this stupid crap, it'll prevent Sasuke from _totally_ going off the deep-end… right?

Suddenly I get a chill run down my spine like something is about to go seriously wrong…

I scrunch up my face as I look around, apparently I'd made my way to some playground with a fountain, only there aren't any kids around that I see immediately…

Then I hear sobbing and I know I missed something…

Leaning around the fountain I spot a little girl in red with pink hair… aww, goddamnit!

It take me a good solid minute to rake in my growling and overall pissed off mind… last time I'd seen her… well her body anyway, hadn't been that great, even the time before when she'd been alive… and even from my lifetime before there was still a bit of a bad taste in my mouth from some, a lot, of the choices she'd made… both lifetimes… goddamnit! Just god-fucking-damnit!

My body doesn't seem to give a damn how pissed off I am as I stroll around the fountain with my hands in my sleeveless hoodie pocket, "Hey, wass wrong Sakura-chan?"

She squeaks, jumping a good inch before turning her sobbing green eyes on me, "W-who…?"

I can't help but frown, "Uzumaki Naruto!" I give this cheesy nod, come on body stop it! "We're in the same class right?!" I think that was supposed to be reassuring but sounded more like a question… well that was a terrible introduction…

"Mm," she just gives a kinda pitiful nod before setting her head on her knees and staring off away from me.

Goddamnit, why do I still have to be such a nice guy? I take a seat on the upper part of the fountain while she's on the ground leaning against it and just stare up at the sky instead of at her crying face, "So wass wrong?" there's a whimper as my response, it takes way too much effort to _not_ look at her, "why ya cryin' out here?"

She sniffles a minute and I think she's just gonna start crying again, so I'm somewhat surprised, seriously, when she sits her chin straight on her knees and glances up at me, "I-Ino-chan… and the other girls… they…" she frowns, probably thinking it was stupid…

It probably really was, but goddamnit I'm a nice guy… I fold my arms scowling, "They teasin' you again?" how the hell did I know that? Or am I just guessing? She does look like she's been teased.

There's a small nod as her frown spreads, "I-I told them I like someone…" I piqued a brow curious, but really I can probably guess who it is, "A-and they told me it was s-stupid… l-liking a dobe like that…"

Wait… what?! "Dobe?" a brow raises on my forehead… don't tell me in this universe she likes ME! That… that would just be CRUEL!

"Mm," she just nods again, sniffling, "J-just because he doesn't get top marks like you and Hinata, everyone thinks he's an idiot," wait-what? "when there are plenty of other guys nowhere near you two…"

Wait, huh? Dobe, not getting top marks like _ME?!_ "Wha-?"

This time she scowls pretty openly at me, those pink brows low and furrowed as she almost glares at me, "Don't act stupid!" I'm waiting for a 'baka' and fist honestly, "Hinata's got the top spot already and we just started school, and you're the only one that challenges her on a daily basis… when you decide to show up," she pouted, snorting like she's justifiably angry at me… bitch, please, I'll show up when I damn well feel like it… wait-what? Hinata's top already and I'm right behind her? Why?

"Wait! Why am I competing with Hinata?!" I can't help but squeak it out in a nasally high-pitched voice. Sure, I can see little-miss-badass Hinata being top marks, but me?! What?!

"Baka," the pink haired girl pouts… oh god I am so thankful for that small bit of normalcy, "They don't have any grades out yet, but ever since that spar between you two that got out of hand, everyone knows you two are the top candidates… especially since you're all training under Sasuke-kun's older brother…"

THERE IT IS! That's what I'd been waiting for! "Sasuke-kun?" I asked back, giving a cheeky grin as she turns red, poor girl, forever designated to like that lunatic I guess…

"Baka…" she grumbles, trying to hide her blush.

I can't help the cheeky grin, this is probably the most fun I've had since uppercutting that Hyuuga manservant, wonder if anyone picked him up yet? "So it is him, huh? How come?" it honestly slips out of my mouth before I even had a chance to think about it… honestly, I'd never really asked Sakura why she liked him, honestly that is…

Her lower lip sticks out as she's pouting and thinking at once, I just keep squinty-staring at her till she tells me what I want, "I-I j-just l-like him…" she lowered her head further in her arms.

"Uh-huh…" believe me girl, I know _just_ how much you like that sonvabitch…

There's a tremble in her voice when she continues, "A-and Ino and the other girls… they-they said I was stupid for liking him!" all I can do is cock my brow as she gets up in a fury, "All cause of that Hinata! Hinata! Hinata! Hinata!" and she's officially throwing a temper tantrum… great…

Okay, as much as I love hearing my future wife's name, what the hell is going on? "Sakura... SAKURA!" I shout as she seemed to snap out of it for a second, "What're you going on about? What's Hinata-chan gotta do with you liking Sasuke?" seriously, I'm confused…

Now she _really_ frowned like her older self, "Its cause Ino and the other clan-girls said they're betrothed! That's why they're always together!" she continued on on some other tangent of the tyraid dealing with what Ino and apparently other shinobi clan konoichis-in-training had said… Sasuke, in this universe was apparently considered offlimits by the other girls because he was… he was most likely… most… likely…

"WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKK!" I jumped up screaming! "NO WAY! NO FUCKING WAY! NO MOTHER-FUCKING-GOD-DAMN-YOU-BITCH-KAMI WAAAAAAAY IS **_MY_** HINATA GOING TO MARRY THAT COD-OFF-TWISTED-FUCKED-UP-SONVABITCH!"

It took me **_far_** longer to calm down then Sakura… who was just staring at me with wide scared green eyes, "N-N-Na-ru-to…"

After another long scream of fury I snapped my eyes to hers, furious and blazing as I could feel my chakra burning to get out and destroy something as I told her the one truth I would **_make sure_** happened, "The only person Hinata is marrying is **_ME!_**"

Her eyes widened… then suddenly a grin started to spread on the teary-eyed girl's face until it was a fullblown smile…

The next thing I know she's thrown her arms around my neck, nuzzling me, and muttering a million, "Thank you, thank you, thank you Naruto!"

I'm completely stunned to be honest… I hadn't meant to explode like that… I mean, really, there's **_NO WAY_** I'm losing Hinata this go around due to some stupid bullshit like an arranged marriage or whatever… I'll destroy the Uchiha clan myself to prevent that if I have to! But honestly, I haven't been 'close' to Sakura in years, after what happened in my first life I kept my distance, too focused on 'making up for' what'd happened the then in my second to really care about her… then how she died… well… effectively betraying me and the village to let that fucker out… but now… now…

I just sigh deeply and hug her back. At one point we were friends, brother and sister maybe, and really, I can't fault this young girl for liking that jerk, especially now when its all so innocent and none of them having any idea what's going to happen. I pat her back, mumbling a, "We'll get them, just you wait," low enough for only her to hear as I awkwardly let her hug/lean on me…

There's only one way this could get any worse…

"Come on Lady Hinata, we have to get you home before sunset…"

And, thank you Kami, as **_THAT_** is exactly what I was talking about…

I turn around, Sakura still sorta hanging on me, quick enough to catch those pearl-like white-lavender eyes on me, on the surprised face of my child-version future-wife… and she just saw me hugging this other girl… even if it was awkward, I know from experience Hinata _does __**NOT**_ handle jealousy well… if I'm lucky she'll just get angry, come up here, split us up, yell at me then kiss the life out of me… if I'm not…

Her face goes stony a second later, just closing her eyes, frowning a bit and following her manservant…

Great, just fucking great… now she's pissed at me…

Thanks-a-fucking-lot Kami… Sakura…

Goddamnit, when's she going to get off my arm…

* * *

**A/N:** first and foremost, thanks to all my reviewers, favers, followers, etc. for finding this odd little diatribe of mine amusing enough to comment :3 several more thank-yous for those that comment finding it strangely unique and that being a 'good' thing... i like unique... definitely how i feel about this series of not-quite-but-sorta-is-crack-serious-speculation-a ngst... funny yet will beat you over the head with dark-feels... woo~

anywho... god i love these two... its like getting to argue with myself only it makes sense... sorta... and as 'someone' was speculating, yea, it'll be funny when they both finally realize they're BOTH time-travelers, hehehe... but for now, it just means they get more and more confused and angry at each other... HA! XD

i'm sure i has more to 'explain' but feh, have fun reading and gimme a review~ :3

Till next -salute-waves- Sayounara, Mina!

-Ikasury

Ps: WYCH fans... blame Reki...


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